


þrumabrandr

by Caraidean



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
Genre: Abusive Relationships, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hallucinations, House Friege Is Suffering, Ishtar in particular is having a really Rough Time right now, Suicidal Thoughts, rarepairs like you wouldn't believe up in here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26551141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caraidean/pseuds/Caraidean
Summary: When Ishtar was a child, she witnessed Bloom having a moment of weakness after Tailtiu's death. Something he said to her during it causes the closing days of the war to shift drastically from what they were meant to be.Updates first Sunday of every month.
Relationships: Celice | Seliph/Ishtar (Fire Emblem), Lana/Yuria | Julia, Past Ishtar/Julius, Sety | Ced/Teeny | Tine
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. Prologue - Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishtar POV.
> 
> Set during Chapter 10. Flashback set during that vaguely defined point where Tailtiu died. 
> 
> I have a tendency to write Holy Weapon users like they've stepped out of a completely different genre than Fire Emblem's normal mid-level Fantasy, fair warning. It's not the main focus of the fic, but it is brought up on occasion.

"I want to play a game."

Ishtar was no stranger to Julius' sudden shifts in mood, although the way his voice didn't even shift when he said that gave her pause. It had the same venom in it as when he had dismissed Seliph as a fairy tale a few moments ago, dismissing Manfroy and turning to leave with her - but the words were so light. It was a tone she was starting to grow far too familiar with in recent days. 

_Children, in the name of all the gods, Children..._

"Oh?" She asked as casually as she could manage. She managed to tear her eyes away from the horizon and back to him, studying his face intently - trying to find a sign of...she wasn't even sure what she was looking for anymore. Hells, she didn't really know what she felt looking at him anymore. "What shall we play, then?"

"That army is nearby." He said, almost casually. Almost. Her ears seemed to focus in on the tone rather than the words, the half-imagined emotions rather than the meanings of what he said. "Let's see who can claim the life of a rebel first. A small piece of sport."

Ishtar almost refused on the spot - she truly did. But she stepped forward and rested a hand on Julius' shoulder, squeezing it lightly as she forced a smile and tried to remember the empty grave she'd helped dig for Ishtore. "Yes, Lord Julius. I'd love to."

Love, obedience, fear, vengeance...so many things could make you forget your decency in the heat of the moment. Ishtar's heart was caught in a storm of all of them, for months at a time now. The approaching army could give her something of an outlet, even if it meant - no, it meant nothing. Her cousin had clearly picked her own side, hadn't she?

Her family had enough graves already dug. One more wouldn't matter by the end of the war, whether it was hers or Tine's. Julius smiled reached up with his hand, grasping her arm by the wrist and delicately lifting it off his shoulder. 

"Excellent. Let us be off."

* * *

_Ishtar had never expected to see her father cry, even under the circumstances of the last few days. She hovered in the doorway of the study for a few moments, her hand on the frame as she stared in disbelief. He was still dressed in the black robes he had taken to all week, the only display of mourning he'd allowed himself in the wake of her aunt's death._

_Eventually, she spoke. "Father?"_

_"Ishtar." The man composed himself with surprising ease, face smoothing over and back straightening. A handkerchief dabbed at his cheeks, mopping away the tears she had silently noted. He raised an eyebrow as he rose from the desk, his hands still shaking a little for a few brief moments. "You should be in bed."_

_"I couldn't sleep." The girl said quietly, recognizing his 'secure' voice as soon as he used it. She stepped past the threshold of the study, closing the door behind her and looking up at him. "...Tine is crying again."_

_"Yes, she would be. Poor girl." Bloom muttered quietly. Ishtar studied him carefully, young eyes looking up into the lines of his face before saying something that was almost an accusation._

_"Crying like you."_

_"...as she should be." Bloom didn't deny it, not wishing to insult his daughter's intelligence. Ishtar represented the greatest hope to Friege's success that he could have ever dreamed of, both in her blood and her mind, and her choice in...friends. Where his wife pushed the romantic view of her current time with Julius, he still believed they were too young to speak of that, and he had no desire to potentially upset a man as dangerous as Emperor Arvis by pursuing a marriage contract so early._

_But her mind needed encouraged and trained, so lying to her in a moment like this was foolhardy. He nodded slowly, walking over to the fireplace and reaching for the poker. He prodded at the ashes for a moment before sighing, shaking his head and blinking away another two tears. "After all, her mother is dead. Losing family is always difficult. I remember when I lost my father to the Traitor's blade all those years ago, and Tailtiu's death...well, it brings up the memories."_

_He scowled for a second, and he slammed the poker into the fireplace with a snarl. A crackle of lightning coursed through his hand and along the black iron, disrupting the embers and causing new light to sear among the few remaining intact pieces of wood. "It is all the harder when their death is at the hands of someone you believe cared about you, I find."_

_That was perhaps a little much. He turned to glance at Ishtar, the girl's eyes suddenly wide with shock at the vague mention of her mother's role in this entire sorry affair. His shoulders slumped and he shrugged, turning away from her with defeat in his voice. "Keep this in mind, Ishtar. If someone who claims they love you raises a hand against your family...they don't. Do you understand?"_

_The room was quiet, save for the crackle of static that always accompanied her father after he used magic, and the dying noises of the firepit and torches. Wordlessly, as if she was afraid to upset the quiet, Ishtar nodded._

_"Good. Run along, now. Try and quiet down Tine if you can, before your mother finds out either of you are awake past curfew." He hesitated. "Ishtar. Try not to blame your mother for what happened. She always has her reasons."_

_The words rang hollow compared to what he had told her to keep in mind just before that. She nodded again, wordlessly, and opened the door to step outside. She walked for a few steps, before breaking into a near sprint towards her and Tine's shared chamber._

* * *

This game was just as sickening as all the other times Ishtar had stepped into combat. At first she was all thunder and fury, crashing down from the sky like a bolt of lightning - scattering troops and forcing mages to put all their effort into ceasing her attacks. Where she could hear Julius' laughter to her right, she instead found her voice pulled into a harsh, furious screech without words - no passion or thought, just anger. Someone must have trained these rebels well, the small part of her mind that focused on keeping her alive told her. They knew how to react to a Holy Weapon user appearing - scatter, act on the defensive, and try to isolate them. 

_Isolate them_. She snapped her head to the right and saw the infantry stepping away to encircle Julius instead, sending them running again with another bolt of lightning and a cruel scream. She almost laughed, blinking away tears for a moment as she realized what that insight had made her sound like. She hadn't even particularly **liked** her brother's betrothed. At the time, Liza explaining how she would approach a situation like this had seemed more like a subtly aggressive jab at her father's expense. Now, she was just grateful for the advice. She moved rapidly, closing the gap between her and her fiance and forcing a smile to her face as she fell in step.

Around them, the shadows of his magic flared to life, purple flames dancing around the ground and burning the arrows which tried to pepper them from afar. "Ah, my love. Have you scored yet, then?"

"I'm afraid not, Julius. Clearly, my aim needs work." She sniffed, trying to mimic his own attitude. Perhaps that would keep her focused, if nothing else. "Or perhaps the rebels have just trained particularly well when it comes to-"

Her voice died away as she saw the small group rushing to the aid of the common soldiers around her. Most she didn't recognize, but in the middle of it all she could have sworn she saw a flash of silver. 

"Tine?" She muttered in disbelief, thrown. It was one thing to know that her cousin had turned her coat, but to see her rushing to engage them was another. Julius' head turned in the same direction and his smile widened, the man stepping forward and lifting his hand. 

"Ah, excellent eyes, Ishtar!" He praised, gathering shadow and flame in his palm as he licked his lips. "We can destroy the turncoat as the finale for our game, hm?"

Ishtar sprinted away from him, towards the group of oncoming reinforcements. Surely he wouldn't try to finish her himself, would he? She may have expressed her disdain for Tine when they were apart, but seeing her again had thrown everything into sharp relief. Lightning crackled along her hand as she drew on Mjolnir's power again, and she pulled her hand back to cast her own finishing blow despite the look of disbelief and terror she could make out on Tine's face. How far away was she, even? Twenty, thirty paces? 

She couldn't miss, not from here. She couldn't hesitate, either, not now - even as the storm around her heart threatened to finally break. Then, moments before she could throw the bolt towards the group, a shadow was cast over her. 

Julius. She knew it was the result of one of his spells even as she turned, casting her hand up into the sky with a loud cry. Ishtar herself wasn't certain if it was pure reflex or a decision she just couldn't quite place making, but the orb of shadow was barelling towards her cousin. 

The sky cracked open, and lightning split the shadow. It cast Julius' face in a cold white light, a look of stunned betrayal slowly and surely turning into a snarl of rage as he stepped forwards. More darkness wrapped itself around him, the head of a dragon seeming to form just behind his shoulders as he bared his teeth and shouted something that Ishtar couldn't make out. Still, it was impossible to mistake the look on his face and the tone of his voice. Suddenly, the half-imagined emotions she had been focusing on earlier didn't seem so imagined, and now...now, Ishtar was looking at him with clear eyes for the first time in years. 

Ishtar answered his yell with a cold stare of her own, hands curling into fists as she took a step back and to the right, placing herself between her betrothed and the stunned members of the revolutionary army. When she spoke, it was half a snarl and half a sob.

" ** _Stay away from her_**." 


	2. Dissension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishtar POV
> 
> Ishtar makes a choice and sticks with it, despite her misgivings.
> 
> Takes place during Chapter 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief note on ages: I tend to assume most of the cast is older than the game implies. This is mostly from a personal comfort level, not from the like NSFW point of view (this story isn't going to include any outside of the normal level you'd find in a Fire Emblem game), but due to personal issues with how the series just insists on continuing to have actual literal child soldiers in it ALL THE TIME. Of course due to the nature of FE4 this is harder to get around, but I've tried my best to put them at ages that make sense in the timeline while also reducing my personal squick factor. 
> 
> The only canonical ones that I'm aware of is that Seliph is 19 at the end of the game, and 18 when generation two starts. Leif is placed at a year younger than him, and if we assume Julius/Julia were born the year after Arvis and Deirdre got married (760) they'd be 17 by the end of the game as well. So here's a breakdown of individual approximate ages for the main cast: 
> 
> Seliph: 19  
> Ishtar: 20  
> Ced: 17  
> Julia/Julius: 17  
> Arthur: 18  
> Tine: 16  
> Ishtore / Liza / Bloom: dead
> 
> The actual fic itself is going to take place over a few years so they'll age accordingly, but here's where they're at when the climax of the game is going down.

You could have cut the silence that followed Ishtar's choice with a knife. Even though she knew it was impossible, it felt like the whole world had stopped around them - and Ishtar felt the burning urge to look over her shoulder and check what Tine was doing. Eventually, after what felt like entire minutes of nothing but glares, Julius spoke. 

"Don't be stupid, my love. She's a traitor." His voice dripped with barely restrained fury, the kind that she was only really used to hearing directed at his father. It felt painful to be on the receiving end, enough to make her glance away and at the ground - but only briefly. She forced her gaze back to him again, taking a sharp breath and letting her gloved hands curve into fists. 

It was a good thing they were gloved. From how tight she was clenching them, her nails would have cut into her flesh if they weren't there. Instead of replying Ishtar shook her head mutely, not trusting her voice any further - and Julius' sneer turned even more violent and ugly. "Oh, what is it? Do you want to deal with her yourself? Fine, go ahead."

He waved a hand, sniffing dismissively. Ishtar heard a sharp intake of breath from behind her but refused to look, her head twitching slightly as if she was about to, but she couldn't dare look away from Julius. If she so much as looked away, if she so much as /twitched/ in a way that he thought was threatening to him, they would both be dead in an instant. Finally, she forced herself to say something, through a voice that was starting to crack with stress and fear. 

"You knew she was important to me and you didn't even hesitate."

"Of course I didn't." Julius snapped, crossing his arms in a childish display of pique. "You might think she was important to you, Ishtar, but I don't care about her. She's in the way and she's a traitor. The only person who should be important to you is me."

Ishtar stared at him quietly for a few more moments, tilting her head. Her breathing was coming to her far too quickly now, and a small part of her mind in the back of her head was screaming for her to get away, to run, to curl up in a ball and start crying at everything she'd just lost - but she wasn't an idiot. She could deal with the emotional fallout of all this, everything from the last few months, once she managed to force her way through to the other side of the fight. 

"If you loved me you wouldn't say that." Ishtar said lowly. Julius actually looked as if he'd been slapped, head flinching back before his brow furrowed. For a brief instant, Ishtar could have sworn she was looking at the face of the person she'd met five years ago than the one she'd grown familiar with. He was...

"Don't. Be. Stupid." Julius said in a low, careful voice. "Either do it yourself or step aside."

Ishtar didn't bother replying, still standing there - her hands shaking and tears starting to come to her eyes, but refusing to move. Julius' momentary look of sadness faded, replaced by rage again as he snarled. "Fine. I suppose your entire family is worthless after all."

The black fire rose again, bursting from the ground in front of him in a gigantic wave. Ishtar thrust her hands forwards desperately, bolts of lightning streaking from her hands and the sky - blasting great craters in the oncoming wave, but it wasn't enough. She never had been any good at using it defensively and it was costing her now, some of the fire managing to get past her desperate attempts and lashing at her fingers, shins and shoulders. She tried to counter desperately, a massive bolt cracking from the cloudless sky and smashing at the floor where Julius had been standing a mere moment before, but he had already moved. 

_To where_?

Ishtar heard a shriek and span on her feet, turning to face her cousin and her guard. Julius was among them, somehow - gods, how was he so fast - and two of the soldiers were already dead, flames crawling over their corpses and eating away at their armor. Ishtar dove forwards, trying desperately to draw his attention back to her, but she was going to be too slow and she knew it-

The world went green, and something crashed from the sky to the ground in front of her. The impact sent out a blast of wind that sent the already unbalanced woman sprawling, hitting the ground with a hard gasp. Her hands scrabbled for purchase, trying to push herself up as her head span desperately, her ears ring with the howling of the wind. 

_Wind_?

Ishtar could still feel it, near gale forces blasting against her raw skin as she dragged herself to her feet again. She barely managed to stand, rocking slightly as she tried to catch her bearings, blinking tears from her eyes as she shielded them with one burnt hand. Almost everyone else was still on the floor as well, but thankfully they were moving - even though she could see Tine trying to drag herself back to her feet. Hopefully she had the common sense to stay down. Ishtar's eyes shifted to the battlefield and she blinked, watching Julius howl and shriek wordlessly into the gale as his flames were buffeted and extinguished by the wind. His obsession had changed from her and her cousin to the figure standing to her right, all green hair and cloak, hands outspread and fingers splayed with a look of intense concentration on his face. 

_So, that would be Ced, then_.

With Julius distracted she had one chance and she knew it. She lifted one hand and aimed it squarely at her betrothed's chest, letting lightning gather in an orb in the center of a claw-like grasp. She saw Julius' eyes flicker over to her as he got the upper hand for a brief moment, Ced forced to his knees with a grunt of exertion, and in them-

Ishtar lowered her hand slightly, and Julius smirked triumphantly. While most of her was too distraught by what she was doing to really focus on it, although the part of her mind which took pride in her martial prowess was perhaps a little smug when the bolt slammed dead center into his right knee. The howl of shock and pain from him made her flinch away, loosing her footing as the winds suddenly surged forwards to capitalize.

Julius was sprawling, panicking, howling in anger and pain and **fear**. Ishtar clawed her way upright again, panting slightly from the exertion of it all and tugging her hair out of her eyes. Ced seemed about to strike the last blow and she called out, wordlessly, not knowing which of the two she was trying to reach-

But then he was gone, in a flare of red light that she knew too well. Ced's attack slammed into the floor, a pair of massive gouges splitting the earth in front of them before finally the gale faded - and Ishtar realized she could hear everything again. 

"Ishtar? Ishtar?!" Tine was scrabbling towards her desperately, barreling into the sitting woman with panic and disbelief in her voice. "That was - are you okay?!"

"...I don't think so." Ishtar said quietly after a few heartbeats. She staggered to her feet, the shock of the last few minutes - gods, it must have only been ten at the most - making her legs shake and eyes water. Tine grasped her around the waist, the slight girl trying desperately to support her as she looked around. 

"Ced! Get a healer!" Ishtar had never heard her cousin so demanding before and let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking her head slightly. Ced also seemed taken aback but he nodded, turning and heading back towards the approaching reinforcements at speed. "Ishtar, why did you..."

"We'll talk later." Ishtar mumbled, her head throbbing. Never mind the stress, she hadn't used that much power in a long time. "I promise. I just..."

Her knees gave way, and everything started slipping away into a peaceful, soothing darkness.

* * *

"Well, quite the interesting turn of events, isn't it?" Shannan asked with an almost casual air. The man looked up from the notes of the battle he had been passed and set them aside on the table, leaning forwards to converse with his fellow officers. "We go from expecting an assault by two holy weapon users, to one of them defecting to join us."

"We don't know if she intends to stay. She simply intervened to protect her family." Oifey cut in smoothly. He didn't want to be suspicious, but he couldn't shake the nagging sense that all of this was far too convenient. Shannan seemed slightly wounded by the comment, but he tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Still, to review the situation. About the only reason that Tine, Ulster and Iuchar aren't dead at the moment is because the borderline goddess in our infirmary had a seeming change of heart. We should try to be as accommodating as possible to her - she's a font of information, if nothing else."

"She's a person and she's scared." Seliph said firmly, resting his hands on the table. He'd been thinking about the situation for the last hour himself, after taking care that all of his friends were still alive. He always felt a little sick inside for prioritizing them over the common troops, but he shook his head slightly to focus some more. Now was hardly the time to get invested in that particular moral quandary. "I don't want anyone pushing her for information or to join our forces, understand? If she volunteers it, good. If she doesn't want to talk about it, leave her be. From what Tine has told me about the situation, I think that she just made an exceedingly difficult choice."

"We should assume that she could still turn on us again when it's not the heat of the moment." Lewyn finally spoke, turning away from the tent entrance and shrugging slightly. "I'd suggest chaining her up, or at least taking her tome away. If she regrets what she's done and decides to go back to her paramour-"

"Unlikely." Shannan cut in, shaking his head. "You didn't hear how Iuchar described Julius' treatment of her following her turn. I expect even if she did return he would kill her out of a fit of pique - and her sense of self preservation must still be intact if nothing else."

"Quite." Lewyn said, a slightly condescending tone entering his voice. "Except we just saw that she switched sides to save her cousin. What do you expect she'll do when she finds out that you killed her brother, hm?"

Shannan flinched at that, his hand going to the blade at his waist. It wasn't as if he regretted cutting down Ishtore, at least in a general sense. It was the battlefield, and as more and more of the empire's crimes came to light the idea of defeating those who would willingly stand by it became easier for him to swallow. But he'd never had to look into the eyes of someone he'd taken a family member from before, either - Tine excepted, he now realized. 

They never much thought about what had happened to Bloom and Ishtore, he was realizing now. He looked over at Seliph, who had a similar frown on his face, before the young lord nodded slowly at him. That was something the two of them would have to correct later, he realized - either with Ishtar as well, or just Tine alone. "I suppose. Perhaps an armed guard should be near her? Ced should be able to keep her in check, or Ares."

"Febail already volunteered. They knew each other in passing before, when he was first hired by her father." Oifey rolled his shoulders a little before standing up. "Of course, we should keep an eye on her until we're certain."

"Yes. Otherwise, the damned woman might destroy half the camp in an emotional outburst." Lewyn said, his voice heavy with uncharacteristic sarcasm. "I wouldn't trust her no matter what she said at this point. She's dangerous, and-"

"The damned woman can speak for herself." 

Ishtar's voice was a little stiff as she entered the tent, limping slightly. One arm was around Febail's shoulders, the archer having a somewhat strained look of apology on his face. Ishtar stepped away from him, favoring her right leg a little as she hobbled towards the table. Wordlessly, Seliph stepped around and took her arm when she stumbled, helping her into one of the chairs. 

"Thank you." She said, a little stiffly. She glanced up at the surrounding men, her fingers drumming against the table before she inclined her head. "So, will we repeat ourselves, then? You were speaking about how you couldn't trust me."

"Just going to let the thunder god into the tent with our entire high command, huh, Febail?" Lewyn rolled his eyes. Ishtar's look was slightly annoyed, while Febail's was outright insulted. "...yes, alright. Well, you have to admit, it was deserved."

"Probably." Ishtar didn't debate the point. Seliph glanced at her, eyes drawn to her face - dark rings under her raw red eyes, poorly hidden by makeup. She must have managed to get some help from Lana or her cousin before coming, he supposed - it was hardly as if she had any possessions on her when she arrived. "...at the moment, consider me neutral in most respects."

" _Most_?" Oifey prompted.Ishtar glanced towards him, her head inclining slightly in acknwoledgement. "Could you clarify what you mean by that?"

"Troop deployment. Numbers. Training. Commanders. Strategy." She spoke carefully, as if reciting a speech she had been practicing inside her head for days. "You won't get any of those from me. But..."

Her lips dry, she shook her head. "You have to act quickly for something else. Before Julius and I departed to confront you all, I had come to an arrangement with Emperor Arvis concerning certain actions that the church and my betrothed were taking."

She may have had their full attention from the moment they entered, but now she was the subject of an unerring, intense focus. Ishtar sat upright and took a shaky breath, rubbing at her eyes with one palm before continuing. "Blast it all...the child hunts. The Emperor and I managed to organize for the children to be held within a church near the Friege capital. They are hidden, yes, but the primary thing keeping them safe was the threat of my own retribution should they come to any undue harm. Now that I am no longer in a position to do so, I cannot guarantee that my mother would not act out of turn to harm them."

"Your mother would harm children?" Shannan asked, slowly. Ishtar let out a harsh, bitter bark of laughter - completely devoid of warmth. 

"Oh, please. Ask my cousin exactly what my mother wouldn't harm." She said bitterly. 

"Friege is on the wrong damned side of the continent." Lewyn pointed out. Ishtar scowled, and nodded her head slowly. 

"That has not escaped my notice." 

"We'll never make it in time, not with a sizeable enough force." Febail ran a hand through his hair and growled slightly, shaking his head. "But we can hardly leave them there. But yet again, if we attempt to force march..."

"We'll be surrounded and slaughtered." Lewyn said bluntly. His ill grace from before was gone, replaced with cold hard certainty. "We can't send the army. They might well be doomed."

"Not completely." Ishtar's voice was quiet, and she closed her eyes for a few moments to collect herself. Just a minute or so ago she was saying she wouldn't give them any information about her betrothed's military forces, and now she was on the verge of suggesting something far more treasonous than even that. "...the Gelben Ritter is at full strength and sworn to me, not the Emperor. If I could reach Friege with a small escort, at least before my mother could return as well, then perhaps...I could at least hold them off for a while."

"You would join the rebellion?" Oifey asked, a little sharply, and Ishtar shook her head. 

"No. I can...I can't do that to Julius." She struggled to say his name, and felt a growl rise within her throat when they all seemed to instinctively glare a little at it. "Friege would be neutral. We would defend our borders and the children, nothing more."

"What if your mother objects?" Seliph asked quietly. Ishtar had hardly noticed him since he helped her into the chair, his silence letting him fade into the background despite his status as the commander. Her head swiveled slightly and she narrowed her eyes at him, a finger slowly scraping against the table. 

"She won't." She said, firmly. "Not while I hold Mjolnir. My mother is many things, but she is hardly an idiot. If your armies can win the day here in Miletos and we can hold back any retribution from my betrothed or the Church, then she will fall in line."

"Just one question." Lewyn said quietly. "We heard rumors that the Emperor is in the field here in Miletos. Are they true?" 

It took a long while for Ishtar to answer, inclining her head silently. "He arrived to give my mother official recognition as Queen of Miletos. Since your army's attacks have begun, he has been overseeing the defenses from Chalphy. I would imagine that he would remain there, while Julius would return to the capital to prevent anything else befall him here."

"Like you taking his leg off at the knee instead of just buckling it in." Febail chuckled with a little too much relish. Ishtar glared at him, her eyes tightening into a withering stare, but the archer refused to back down. She let out an explosive breath and stood, staggering to her feet shakily. 

"I'll need some way of traveling across the continent as fast as possible. I know how to ride a pegasi, if you have any available." She said, stiffly. "At any rate, I should leave in the morning."

"Lady Ishtar." Seliph said quietly, just soft enough to catch her attention. Ishtar turned her head towards him and raised an eyebrow, flinching back slightly when he stood - and extended a hand. "...thank you. I know this must have been hard for you."

"Don't thank me yet." Ishtar didn't take his hand, hers staying by her side as she inclined her head towards him once more. "...but the thought is appreciated, Lord Seliph."

* * *

"How did you sleep?"

Ishtar was surprised to see Seliph there more than anything else, pausing in her step and glancing at him sidelong. It was incredibly early in the morning, dew still speckling the sides of the tent and catching the lazy sunrise as it came over the horizon. She hesitated in answering, licking her lips for a moment before shrugging. 

"Adequately, I suppose. I found it hard to relax given my position." She didn't want to speak with him about her dreams. He didn't seem to buy it, going off of the expression on his face, but he didn't push her either - something so unlike the people she was used to speaking with. Instead he stepped aside, gesturing at the collected pegasi with a small nod. 

"We can spare these mounts and three knights as an escort. I hope you get there in time." He said, politely. Ishtar let out a small sigh, shaking her head as she stepped up to the first beast, running a hand along its smooth grey hair and patting its neck. 

"All we can do is try, at this point." She murmured. Seliph seemed uncomfortable, fidgeting slightly until she sighed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever you wish to say, Lord Seliph, be out with it."

"Julia." He said finally, looking up at her. She blinked a little in surprise, tilting her head as he continued. "I know you said you wouldn't tell us anything about their military, but can you tell them if they have her?"

"...I wasn't aware she had been captured." Ishtar said after a moment of silence. She could barely remember Julia herself, the girl having normally been busy whenever she was in the capital. Her disappearance during that dreadful night where Queen Deirdre had died had troubled her slightly, yes, but she had always believed both Julius and Manfroy's stories about extremists in the church. After the events of the last day, perhaps she had spoken too soon. "But if anyone would have taken her, it would have been either Julius himself or the Church. Julius would not have been able to resist the urge to show her off to me, so the Church..."

"Who are secretive and opposed to you." Seliph completed the thought with a sigh, running a hand over his face. Ishtar winced a little at how little help she had been to someone who was, genuinely, doing his best to keep her needs met in turn - and reached out, resting a hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry. I'll see if I can hear anything when I retake Friege." She said quietly. After a few more moments Seliph nodded, moving to remove her hand - but it had already gone as she stepped past, glancing at the pegasi nervously and biting her lip. 

"I should have kept up my practice more than I did." She admitted in a low mutter. Seliph overheard her and laughed despite himself, shaking his head. 

"Can you still ride?"

"Of course I can still ride." She snapped back, good humor in her voice despite it. "It's the part where I get on and off that concerns me. I usually had people to help me with that."

"Would you like some practice before you have to leave?" Seliph asked, trying not to smile. Flustered, Ishtar turned to him and snapped her fingers, a few bolts of lightning crackling between them. 

"Do not try and push me on this, Lord Seliph." She warned. Something in her glare made his attempts to hide a smile falter, a hand moving to cover his mouth as he shook his head. 

"I'm sorry, forgive me. It's just...Tine always spoke of you as so infallible before."

"Well, good. You can keep the fact I've forgotten how to mount a damn pegasus from her and she can keep that picture of me in her mind. It's useful." She snapped, crossing her arms under her chest. "...help me on the thing, please."

"Excuse me?" Seliph raised an eyebrow. Ishtar tugged off one of her long gloves and threw it at him, a slight curse muttered under her breath even as her cheeks redenned. 

"I asked you to help me on, are you deaf?" She extended her hand sheepishly. After a moment, Seliph passed it back, his fingers glancing at the fine white scars tracing her fingertips for the briefest of seconds - and the hint of longer crimson ones on her forearms for a moment longer. She tugged her glove back on, adjusting it around her elbow before nodding in satisfaction. "Look, just...help me on before the guards you've assigned me arrive, will you? Please?"

"Of course. My apologies." Seliph said automatically, stepping forwards. Ishtar took a deep breath, adjusting her skirt and taking his hand to support herself as she gripped the pegasi's mane. She winced a little when she tugged on it too hard and the beast nearly reared up, but adjusted easily enough. Her own lack of true strength was the problem now, as she hoisted herself onto the saddle and found herself scrabbling for purchase, having failed to pull herself the entire way. 

"I've got you." Seliph grunted, a hand catching her side before she could fall. The lord pushed slightly, the Friege woman using it to pull herself upright and nodding to herself as she reached forwards and carefully took the reigns in one hand. 

"There. Was that such an effort, Lord Seliph?" She said casually, ignoring the flush on her cheeks. 

"I hope you remember how to get off." Was all that Seliph managed to say before they were interrupted. Ishtar grew glad of the cold morning air, deciding she could blame her embarrassment at that rather than anything else when she heard her cousin's voice. 

"Ishtar! Are you leaving already?" Tine panted as she skidded to a halt next to them. A slight green-haired girl accompanied her, a bundle of lances and bedrolls slung over one shoulder, a hand extended to catch herself against the fencing when she halted too. "But you only just-"

"I'm sorry, Tine. It's important." She said quietly, glancing at the other woman. This must be one of her guards, then - although the shade of hair was familiar. She tore her eyes away from the two of them and studied the third figure, eyes widening in recognition. "You..."

"Oh. Ah, Ishtar, this is Arthur. Arthur, this is..."

"I'm familiar." Arthur said sharply. Ishtar smiled thinly at him, no warmth found as she studied her second cousin. "...you saved my sister's life, then. Thank you."

That was unexpected. Ishtar inclined her head slightly, the smile unerringly still as she studied him. "Tine means more to me than you could know. I've been with her almost her entire life."

Beside them, the green haired pegasus knight winced visibly. She also heard something that resembled a harsh intake of breath from behind her, before Seliph stepped back into view and held up his hands. "Have a safe flight, Lady Friege." He said, pointedly. Arthur let out a grumble and turned to leave, a crestfallen Tine looking from him to Ishtar repeatedly. 

"Go and speak with your brother, Tine. I'll be fine." Ishtar assured her. The other two knights were filing in now, some barked orders from the young girl sending them scurrying into formation and mounting up. "I'll send word as soon as I can. That goes to you as well, Lord Seliph."

She hesitated as she turned the pegasus away, feeling the muscles in its sides stirring as the wings extended. "...good luck to the both of you, then." 

"Have a safe flight." Seliph nodded. "I hope you make it in time."

"Please stay safe." Tine pleaded. Ishtar raised her right hand to them both before kicking her heels in, sending the pegasus bounding forwards before it leaped into the air. She blinked away her tears as she forced herself not to look back, or even towards the ground in general - staring into the horizon towards her home, determined not to second guess herself. 

She was doing quite well, until the green-haired knight caught up to her and shouted over cheerily. "Hey! So, I guess we're going to be what, cousins-in-law soon?"

When Ishtar managed to get Fee to explain what she had meant by that comment, it took far more strength of will to resist turning around and attempting to murder Ced than she would have cared to admit.


	3. Neutrality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishtar POV.
> 
> Ishtar arrives in Friege, and sets about securing her position. Hilda, Amalda and Olwen return home. 
> 
> Set between the back half of Chapter 10 and the front half of Endgame.

For Ishtar, the flight over had been silent after that opening hour. She knew there was little point in focusing on when they would arrive at Friege - the flight was as fast as any of them could go, but she still fretted over every possible detail. What if the Rebellion lost at Miletos, or Chalphy? Her betrothed wouldn't dismiss her actions as a brief moment of weakness, not when he discovered her intentions with the children - she could be claiming neutrality all she wished, but it would still end in war between them. 

Her only hope was that Seliph's forces would win, then. Perhaps she could use her own actions over the last few days and the coming weeks to try and call for some kind of leniency in how Julius would be treated, but a sickening weight in her stomach told her that dream was unlikely to work out. Even if she pleaded and begged as publicly as she could, the number of people that would be calling for his head would be impossible to ignore after all of this. 

She didn't get much sleep on that first night. Instead she sat on the cliffside, staring down at the ground hundreds of feet below and wondering at what point she should have tried to stop him before. It was only now that she'd positioned herself against him in the most thorough way that she could have that she was thinking back on her prior actions and inaction, second-guessing her every prior move and motive and wondering if she'd done the right thing. The answers that she found were more haunting than satisfactory. 

The second day's flight had been difficult for her. The lack of sleep and her growing turmoil meant she was slipping away for most of it, forcing herself to her limits to stay atop her mount. Fee had swung close to her a few times already, trying to make sure that the noblewoman wasn't about to fall - and almost pulling an outburst from Ishtar when she tried to call another break. They couldn't stop, Ishtar reasoned, for anything - they had to keep going. She had to keep going. 

The third day was better. She had slept properly the last night from the sheer physical exhaustion, although now her thighs were chafed and her back ached from the flight. Unlike the others neither her clothes nor her body were suited to such long hours, and they were starting to take their toll on her. But it was worth it, she realized, as they crested the mountains and saw Friege in the distance. They were going to make it, and then...well, then it would truly be the point of no return. 

"Let's move!" Fee sang out happily, and the group descended. Ishtar was lagging behind her guards a little now, out of protocol more than anything else, although her identity was still clear to anyone who would stop to look at her. The growing crowd in the courtyard seemed confused more than anything else, until she dismounted and raised a hand in greeting - and, slowly, cheers started to spread. 

Everyone had heard what Julius had been trying to do to the children by now, she learned. Her heart sank at that, convinced it would lead to her own rejection by her people - but they didn't. They still wanted her to lead, calling out and claiming that they always knew she was a good person - siding with her public declaration and orders to the Gelben Ritter without question. 

_I don't deserve this_. Ishtar sat in her father's study in a daze, staring at the empty fireplace as memories of a night years ago flooded back to her. It was her study now, she supposed - her father was dead for some months at this point, her brother too. Killed by the very people that she was now pinning her hopes on. 

"The escort you had has departed back to Miletos." Maybell told her. Finding her bodyguard still here and siding with her as well had been its own kind of surprise - she had been convinced the sisters would have returned back to Silesse if nothing else. But all three of them had remained, echoing her people's support of her actions. 

"Good. Hopefully they can tell the rest what's happening here." Ishtar said slowly, standing up from the desk. She stared at the empty fireplace still, tilting her head and frowning as she tried to force her mind out of the past and into the present. "Have the children been brought into the capital from the church?"

"Yes. They're in the catacombs below the castle, as you requested." She nodded. Ishtar let out an explosive breath, shaking her head and trying to focus. 

"Good, good. How are the Gelben Ritter deployed?"

"The cavalry divisions are scattered along the border, ready to report back should the imperial armies mobilize against us. Otherwise, the armored divisions are centered around the various population centers as you commanded." Maybell hesitated, clearing her throat. "Do you intend to command them yourselves? After, ah..."

"Damn. Did my father not appoint a successor after Reinhardt's death?" Ishtar groaned, fingers rubbing at her forehead. She tried not to focus on the wounds his name brought up in her soul, instead turning to look at Maybell with a frown. "Meng has command experience, correct?"

"Well, yes. But with various mercenary groups and air forces, never with magical cavalry." Maybell admitted. 

"It's the best we've got at the moment. As much as I wish we could, we can't bring him back from the dead. I would even settle for Kempf at this point." She said bitterly, shaking her head. It was just coming to her that she should have hunted down Leif among Seliph's forces and questioned him on the whereabouts of some of his Friegian troops - she knew he had them. Olwen and Fred both would have been valuable soldiers to have at the moment, never mind Amalda. 

She should have listened to the earlier misgivings she'd heard. Instead she had focused almost single-minded on Julius' sickness at the time, pushing everything else off until later, even ignoring the other warning signs from that period. That year was going to haunt her for the rest of her life, she was certain of it. 

"Tell Meng that she has command of the border. I'll have overall command for the time being, and should anyone distinguished step forwards I'll anoint them as we can." She stepped out of the room, brushing her dress down and stalking down the halls with her head held high. "Tell Bleg to monitor the messages that come in and out - if I hear anything from either the revolutionary army, the capital, or my mother, I wish to know immediately. Understood?"

"...ah." Maybell paused at that, wincing. Ishtar stopped in her steps and turned, raising an eyebrow and motioning for her to say whatever she wished. "Your mother arrived recently, Your Grace. The Queen of Miletos awaits you in the dining hall. She seems...distressed."

She would be. Ishtar frowned, glancing at the study she'd left and letting her face harden with resolve. No, she knew what she had to do now. "Tell my mother that I'll see her in my study. She won't dictate anything to me here...Queen of Miletos or no, this is Friege. I rule here."

"Of course." Maybell nodded, almost sprinting away. Ishtar returned to the office, lighting the fire with a glance and a spark before settling in her chair and picking up the quill she'd seen her father use so many times before. 

She would **not** be intimidated by her mother here and now. She had stared down many things far more frightening at this point.

* * *

"You picked a fine time to start acting as your position dictates." 

Ishtar's hand stilled as she stared down at the page she had been noting on. It had taken less time for her mother to arrive than she had been expecting, and she forced her fingers to stop shaking as she carefully put the quill down and looked up at her. Hilda's face was drawn with thin lines of anger and disapproval, her eyes burning as the Queen of Miletos stared her down with a low growl in her voice. 

"Mother. I assumed you would remain in your new estates. After all, they were gifted to you - and you have no official hold here in Friege." Ishtar's voice was stiff and polite as she laid out the facts, cold and simple. Hilda actually nodded slightly, conceding the point and letting a slight smile toy across her face before it vanished. Ishtar couldn't remember the last time she had made her mother proud enough to acknowledge it. The fact it was under situations like this was...concerning. 

"Quite. Well, I lost it. Your new allies managed to oust me and are marching on Chalphy as we speak." Hilda's voice was as smooth but harsh as it always was, the woman walking over to the desk and sitting in the chair across from her. Ishtar's fingers twitched briefly, the woman fighting down the urge to start fidgeting as she met her mother's gaze. "Well...not allies, I suppose."

"Not allies, no. Friege is to remain neutral in any further conflicts." Ishtar's voice was still stiff, as devoid of emotion as she could make it. Hilda tilted her head, a small smile playing over her face as her eyes narrowed. 

"Ah, so that's your game. It won't work if they lose." She muttered, lowly. Ishtar froze - she had acknowledged the same point herself, that if Seliph's armies were defeated now they would come for her. "I do have to ask...you would prefer to side with the people that killed my husband and son? Your father and brother?"

"I've sided with people that killed my family before." Ishtar couldn't believe what she had just said, yet her own flare of outrage stopped her from halting herself. "And for what it is worth, at least Seliph's army seems apologetic about it. Which is a far sight more than either you or Julius ever expressed."

"So that's where we stand with each other, is it." Hilda's voice was devoid of the amusement and anger of earlier, as cold as Ishtar's was now. They stared at each other, and Ishtar could feel the hairs on her arms rise as the static coursed through her blood. If she had to she could strike her mother down, yes - but she didn't want to. Not here, not yet, perhaps never. For all the woman's faults, for all she had done to her and to Aunt Tine and the Uncle she had never met...she was still her mother. It counted for at least a little. "You choose now to bring this up? Your aunt was-"

"No." Ishtar cut her off, almost seething as she slapped her hand down flat on the table. "No. We don't speak of her now - there's more important things to do. For a start, Friege has to survive this war no matter the outcome."

"The easiest way to do that would be to hand the children over to Manfroy and beg for the Church's protection." Hilda sneered. Ishtar shook her head vehemently, standing upright and for the first time in her life towering over her mother as she leaned forward and growled. 

"Mother. If you so much as think of aligning ourselves with the Church again, I will cast you down into an abyss so deep that I will be able to deliver your soul to Loptous in person." She snarled. "Do I make myself clear."

"Perfectly." Hilda didn't flinch for even an instant, her face settling into impassivity once more. "So. We feign neutrality and hope for a revolutionary victory, then. You know that men will be demanding my head, correct?"

"They won't have it." Ishtar shook her head after a brief moment. "Everything you have committed is an internal matter of House Friege, and I will deal with it personally in time."

"Well. That's one matter sorted." Hilda muttered under her breath, although the brief flicker of fear that crossed her eyes was enough to tell Ishtar that her mother was far from secure in the idea that her daughter held her life in her hands. "And how do you intend to advance House Friege in the coming years should they win, hm? Or...oh, I know."

A smirk crossed her face and she chuckled lightly. "Oh, my dear Ishtar. You must be more cunning than I ever thought. I suppose an idealistic boy like that would be easier to manipulate once he is crowned, yes - without Julius' violent impulses."

Ishtar felt bile rise in her throat as she stared at her mother, eyes wide. "What are you talking about?"

"Your little meetings with our dear Heir of Light." Hilda's voice was light now, her eyes dancing. "My sources tell me you spoke with him before leaving on pegasi to fly here. They claim he seemed attracted to you - and wouldn't that just be something? Trading away one Emperor for another, for he will surely be crowned too-"

The smack as Ishtar slapped her mother echoed through the room, her wrist stinging from the force of the impact. Ishtar glanced at her own hand in disbelief, looking up at her equally shocked mother before letting rage sink into her voice, blood turning to ice as she growled. "You **dare** imply something like that? I might have betrayed him on the battlefield but I will _never_ toy with Julius' heart like that."

"Of course." Hilda's voice was dry as she stood, a hand shifting to massage the side of her jaw. "I spoke out of turn. This is hardly a plan that can be spoken out loud...and would work best if you take time with it." 

Her eyes glanced up and down her daughter's form, shrugging slightly as she pulled her hand away and crossed them under her chest. "There are certainly advantages to trying to seduce a man at this age. Not as elegant or efficient as the marriage contracts that your father and I arranged for you years ago, but it could be more binding if you play your hand correctly."

"There is nothing between Lord Seliph and myself." Ishtar hissed darkly. "This entire situation was raised out of concern for my family and an animosity towards the church's plans. Do I make myself clear?"

"Quite, Lady Friege." Hilda rose from her seat, the tall woman eclipsing Ishtar's height once more. "What would you have me do?"

"Get some rest. Teleport or no, you must be tired after your journey here from Miletos." Ishtar said, stiffly. "Then attend the tactics council headed by Meng the following morning. Your knowledge of the Church's militant arm will come in useful with our border defenses." 

"Of course." Hilda nodded, a smirk still playing over her lips. "Look at you now, Ishtar. I'm proud of you." 

Ishtar recoiled as if she'd been slapped, the bile in her throat rising again as her mother swept out. She stared at the open doorway for a long moment, her hands curling into fists and nails digging into the skin of her palms before she forced herself to relax with a shaking breath. 

_Is that what my mother thinks my plan is...? That I'm just trading away one Emperor for another?_

_Is that what everyone else was going to think?_ Sickened, Ishtar slumped back down in the chair and massaged her forehead. Suddenly, she wasn't sure what to think anymore.

* * *

  
"Emperor Arvis is dead."

Ishtar had prepared herself for that reality, more effectively than the others she had planned for, but it still pained her to hear it. She stared down the messenger for a few moments, drumming her fingers on the table once before she let out a sigh and closed her eyes. "...well, he had to be. Merciful or not, I couldn't expect forces commanded by Lord Seliph to let the man live."

The war room lapsed into silence, commanders glancing at each other nervously. Eventually her current field commander stepped forward, tucking neat silver hair behind one ear with a nervous gesture before nodding severely. "We should focus on the coming weeks, Lady Ishtar. With Julius now in complete command, the reprisal strikes you've been fearing could likely come at any moment."

Ishtar had almost been brought to tears when her border patrols had found the group of former renegades entering the country. From abandoning Friege to work alongside Leif in his efforts to liberate Thracia, to returning home once the story of her defiance had started to spread. Amalda was the most valuable of those that she had welcomed back into her ranks, of course - but the presence of Olwen and Fred was both gratifying in their own ways. The man who had tagged along with them was...less so, but Ilios at least had more combat experience than the majority of the Gelben Ritter at this point. If the damned man wanted a title that badly she could give him some backwater village in the countryside that essentially ran itself and hope to never have to hear from him again.

Olwen, though...she needed to stop putting off that conversation with Olwen. There were so many words that she was needing to exchange with so many people at this point, in her family and outside of it. Her brief moment of defiance had spiraled deeper and deeper into _meaning_ something, a gesture people were holding up as the most important since Seliph's forces had claimed their first victories. Most grating to her was that these stories tended to then immediately criticize her lack of action outside of pulling Friege from the war, demanding she join the liberation effort. As if they could understand what was happening inside her mind at this time. 

"I agree." Ishtar said after another pause, closing her eyes and taking a breath. "With Emperor Arvis gone, both Julius and the Church are now unopposed and could resume any number of their more distasteful activities. Meng, Bleg, I want you to redouble guard on the child sanctuaries for the time being - this would be an ideal time for them to strike. Mother, see to the capital's defenses - if an attack comes, they will come straight for the capital, I'm certain of it."

Particularly if Julius was leading them himself. She faltered a little, looking down at the map as Amalda picked up flags and placed new ones to represent the shifting of the continent. If the revolutionary army wished to advance on Barhara and Velthomer, they would need to deal with Dozel or risk being surrounded. Which would bring them to the border with...

"If the Revolutionary Army advances on us, do not engage lest they approach with violence." Ishtar spoke firmly, closing her eyes. The lie of neutrality was falling apart even under her own eyes - the only thing she wasn't ordering her armies to do now was actively strike out. "If they arrive and ask for supplies...inform me so I can negotiate with them in person."

"That could only enhance the new Emperor's anger should he defeat them." Hilda said pointedly. She had grown accustomed to the role set for her in this dynamic - the Imperial loyalist, who would follow her daughter's orders but raise alternatives. It still made Ishtar's skin crawl when she thought on what her mother believed her plan was, but she was proving more useful in this way. 

"If the Revolutionary Army gets past Dozel their victory is essentially complete. Dealing with Barhara and Velthomer will just be a formality at that point." Ishtar snapped back, with more ill temper than she had intended. Amalda nodded in agreement, a somewhat stunned look on the woman's face as she stroked one cheek and stared at the map thoughtfully. 

"At that point...even with the power of Julius' black tome and the church's militant arm behind him, the Emperor simply couldn't regain this much lost ground. He might defeat the army, but the pockets of resistance that would form in the process would be more than the occasionally vexing thorns that he has dealt with before." She shrugged. "The new regimes of Silesse and Isaach will oppose them most vehemently now. He could never hope to reclaim them."

"I'll need to pen a letter. Perhaps after Dozel falls he could be made to see reason at last." Ishtar muttered under her breath sadly, closing her eyes. She didn't even really believe it herself, and already knew that the war could only end with taking Julius' head. So maybe the letter was not so much an attempt to bring him to reason but to say everything she knew she would want to say before it was too late. 

She doubted he would even read it. She let out an explosive breath and shook her head reluctantly, turning away from the table. "Dismissed. Attend to your posts, all of you - the worst of the war as a whole may have passed, but one way or another Friege's direct part in it is coming."

* * *

"There are questions I have for all of you." Ishtar said flatly. It was a dark, overcast day when she met with the revolutionary leaders - and it was muddying her already foul spirits. Staring at them over the table in her tent she refused to stand, staring the three people they had sent to talk with her down. Under the woman's gaze, Shannan and Ced seemed unphased, while Seliph winced a little. 

"I assume these aren't going to be of the logistical or political kind." Shannan muttered. Ishtar tilted her head, eyes narrowing a little as her hand tightened into a fist. Now that the adrenaline rush of saving her cousin had passed, she found it much harder to look these three in the eyes. Fee's little revelation about Ced had not helped with that in the slightest, of course, but she was trying not to let that get to her. Lord knows that when she was Tine's age she wasn't exactly being a paragon of wise romantic choices, as things had turned out. 

"Oh, I guarantee you, those questions will come later and will be no less intense. But these are of the more deeply personal kind." Ishtar said sharply. From the sudden glimmer of regret in Shannan's eyes, as well as the slouching of Seliph's shoulders, she had the feeling that they knew damned well what she was about to ask. "This war has taken three members of my family from me. I demand to know two things."

"Three?" Shannan frowned, until Ced glanced at him and nodded curtly. Ah, so Tine had at least told them about Liza as well, even if he had forgotten. 

"First. I want to know either where you buried them or at least some of their effects so they can be returned home - all of them. My father, my brother, and his betrothed." She said sharply. "Second. I want the names of those who took them from me."

Seliph finally spoke at that one, his own eyes hard even if sympathetic. "If you're going to use those names to hurt them in turn, I can't give you that."

Ishtar smiled without warmth. "Lord Seliph, you misunderstand me. I have no intention of seeking them out and killing them, even if I could." She said flatly. "I do, however, intend on barring them from Friege for the rest of their lives on pain of death." 

Her smile grew even more brittle and her grip on the edge of the table grew harder. "As you are no doubt aware given the circumstances of our first meeting...I take threats and actions against my family /very/ seriously. I suggest you keep that in mind and don't lie to me."

"Your brother's betrothed I can't say. I was leading the assault that day and had command, so I will accept responsibility for her." Shannan said evenly. His stance was relaxed but Ishtar's eyes narrowed, tracing his arm down to where fingers were starting to curl around Balmung's hilt, ready to tense at a moment's notice. "...when I met Ishtore in the field, it was myself who landed the final blow." 

Ishtar truly hadn't intended to lash out, but she had barely noticed herself move as she lunged across the table. There was a blur of motion from herself and the Isaachian both and the woman froze, the tip of Balmung shining brightly an inch from her eye. From her position crouching on the table Ishtar had her right arm extended, fingers curled and palm laying flat, lightning starting to crackle in the center of it as she frowned. Seliph hand lunged forwards just in time, one arm around her waist and the other guiding her extended arm away from Shannan's chest towards the floor, slowly. 

At least she wasn't the only one being restrained. Ced had one hand on Shannan's elbow, ruining his stance as he positioned himself physically between the two and looked up to stare Ishtar in the eyes with a frown. He was about to say anything, until Seliph spoke up first. "Enough. It was the heat of the moment, both of you. Stand down and we won't mention this again."

There was a long, loaded silence until the two rulers backed away from each other slowly. Shannan sheathed his sword and turned to the side, glancing Ced in the eyes with a raised eyebrow. Ced removed his arm and shook his head slightly, while Ishtar lowered her arm and looked critically at Seliph. 

"Help me down, then." She muttered as she slid back off the table. Seliph said nothing, although he did use the grip on her arm to help her balance as she backed away. There was a long silence until Ishtar shook his hands away, crossing her arms under her chest and glaring balefully at Shannan. 

"Get out of my duchy." She hissed. Shannan flinched slightly but nodded, solemnly, and turned to leave. There was a loaded silence in the tent for another while still until Ishtar turned to Seliph, regret and anger crossing her face in equal measure. "...and my father, then?"

She had half expected to hear Shannan's name again, and she would have believed it too. Instead, Seliph's answer made things far more complicated. "Arthur insisted on confronting him himself. I don't have the details on the confrontation, but Febail has always claimed that it was Arthur that struck the final blow, even if he assisted."

"...damn." Ishtar cursed, rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hand. She was letting her emotions get the better of her now, and this particular revelation was not helping in the slightest. She may not know her cousin, but the one she *did* had seemed close to Arthur already. "Damn, damn, damn."

She let out a harsh breath and closed her eyes, forcing herself to think. Eventually she opened them, still scowling but at least no longer in danger of bursting into tears. "I shall need to speak with him later. There won't be a repeat of that...ugliness you just saw."

"I thought we weren't going to mention it again." Seliph said, almost lightly. Despite herself Ishtar let out a brief bark of laughter, shaking her head in bemusement. 

"You are proving impossible to figure out." She muttered under her breath. Before he could really respond she turned back to the table, forcing herself to put business before her again. "...the Gelben Ritter shall not march on the capital with you, but if you need resupply or a safe base of operations closer to the border we are willing to provide it. What do you need?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilda sucks and I hate her


	4. Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishtar places her last two demands on the table, and meets the rest of Seliph's inner circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place from the midpoint of Endgame to a week afterwards

"I have two conditions." Ishtar said quietly once Seliph finished outlying what he would need from them. She drummed her fingers against the table quietly, the nervous tic never quite managing to go away no matter what she did to combat it. Seliph frowned a little, raising his head and giving her a stern look. 

So the man did have some backbone, then. Good. He was going to need it once he took over, which Ishtar was slowly starting to accept as more of an inevitability than a possibility. "You've already requested quite a lot. Neutrality, secure borders, keeping the King of Isaach of all people away from you-"

"These won't be harsh. Everything you have asked for can be provided with ease, particularly the medical aid." Ishtar said sharply, cutting him off. There was a moment of tension as the two stared at each other until Ishtar's own facade crumbled a little, her hand coming up to rub at her forehead as she let out a shaky breath. "/Please/."

"...go on." Seliph said quietly. Ishtar nodded gratefully, clearing her throat and closing her eyes to try and compose herself. Eventually she looked him the eyes again and resisted the urge to fall for her knees for this. No, she would not beg. Even if she wanted to, she would not beg. 

" **Please**...if he surrenders, let him live." Ishtar couldn't bear to say his name, but they would both know who she was talking about. Seliph winced a little, looking away and seeming to mutter under his breath before answering. 

"I don't want to kill him, but I might have to." He lapsed into silence and Ishtar glared at him, her fingers clenching against her forearms before he continued. "He's my brother. He's family. I don't want to hurt..."

"...ah. Yes. I understand." Ishtar said, a sad note entering her voice. Of course it would always be family - everything seemed to be coming back to family. Who you cared about, what you fought for - bloodlines or who you chose. It took her a moment before she could move on to asking her second favor, the room falling into that sad silence as they both avoided looking at each other. 

Some pains didn't need to be shared with strangers. Eventually Ishtar reached into the bag she had taken with her, producing an unsealed envelope and passing it across the table to him. Her voice was cracking a little as she spoke, refusing to cry in front of this man. "Read this. It's a letter I'm sending to him. I just want you to confirm there's no information that could compromise your forces in it before it's sent."

Seliph turned the letter over in his hands a few times, and eventually he looked back up at her and smiled sadly. Wordlessly he passed the envelope over again and Ishtar stared at him, disbelieving before she took it. There was a few more moments of staring at each other - not in the eyes, but the face. Studying, trying to see why the other was acting why they were. Ishtar never was any good at reading people, and the honest sympathy she was seeing in his face was just toying with her as far as she knew. A lot of the things she'd learned about people over the last month told her not to trust them when they tried to be kind. 

"It's personal." Seliph said finally, glancing away from her. In the last few moments of their staring, Ishtar could have sworn that his sympathy had shifted to pity. "If you wanted to warn him about us...you wouldn't have done any of this. Whatever it is between the two of you, it should stay between the two of you."

"You're so _naive_." She said, bitterly, her voice cracking on the words. Seliph flinched a little before glancing over at her again, hand digging into a pocket and passing her a white handkerchief wordlessly. Ishtar took it after a moment, dabbing at her eyes and biting back the sobs that she'd been holding back for months at a time now. "How...how do you expect to rule? With nothing but blind trust and compassion?"

Seliph flinched, still looking away - deliberately letting her know that he wouldn't see her cry, if Ishtar was any judge. Giving her at least that kind of comfort - more than that, even, as she realized he was watching the entrance to the tent like a hawk. She reached up to rub at her eyes with the cloth again, letting her breath catch as she stopped the quiet sobbing. Silently, she picked up the letter again and held out the handkerchief, muttering a quiet thanks. 

"No. Keep it, it's fine." Seliph insisted, coloring a little. "I have, ah...several, anyway."

"Gifts from an admirer?" Ishtar joked, weakly. Seliph's low chuckle sounded forced, even to her uneducated ears, but she took a huffing breath of relief anyway. "Thank you, Lord. It's appreciated."

"Please...say nothing of it." Seliph assured her, only now turning to face her again. Ishtar dabbed at her eyes a few more times, setting the handkerchief aside on the table and crossing her arms under her chest. 

Which was when she decided to do something foolish. "Do you intend to march on the capital immediately?"

"The army is tired. Some time needs to be taken while the healers attend to them and we re-arm. The Empire's forces won't be going anywhere." Seliph said, a frown crossing his face for a brief moment. "...why?"

"Neutrality or no, I should know you and your future fellow rulers a little better. My own state command is gathered in a nearby fort - perhaps gather up your own equivalent for a meal?" She offered. Somewhere deep inside her soul, something was screaming. "It might do us all some good, I think. I would enjoy getting to speak with Tine properly again, if nothing else. Some members of Lord Leif's previous force are with me as well, should he be among those you invite."

"I think he might be pleased to see them again." Seliph accepted. "Tomorrow night, then?"

"Tomorrow night. I'll tell the Gelben Ritter to be expecting you. Feel free to bring an armed escort, just...don't encourage them to start any battles." She let a confident, borderline teasing note enter her voice. "We would destroy you utterly, for a start."

"Please don't say that within earshot of Ced. He's likely to take it as a challenge." Seliph chuckled, his shoulders relaxing a little. He was on his feet and ready to depart when he paused, turning around to look at her again. "Ah, your mother isn't likely to be in attendance is she?"

There was the other subject that she had been carefully avoiding the entire time. Her face became guarded and she looked up at him sternly, her full lips pressed into a thin frown as she fought down the urge to bite them. "I understand everything my mother has done to wrong the people of this continent, Lord. Better than.../almost/ all of your own forces. But her fate is an internal matter of House Friege now, am I clear?"

"Is she attending?" He pressed. Ishtar shook her head firmly. 

"No. For the time being and the foreseeable future she is under house arrest at the capital, escorted by two of my most valued soldiers at all times. She no longer has a say in what happens, nor could she." She assured him. "When this is all over...a more permanent solution will be reached. Is that clear enough for you?"

"It's Arthur you will have to convince. At least she isn't present for this meeting, then." He sighed, shaking his head sadly. Ishtar winced, leaning back in her chair and letting her frown deepen. 

"You may as well invite him too, yes." She relented, shoulders slumping. "I should meet my other cousin at long last. Properly, at any rate."

"Tine's been looking forward to the two of you meeting." Seliph chose his words very, very carefully. Ishtar grimaced a little, the meaning of that landing easily in her head. "She's eager for all of you to be united."

"I suppose she would be." Ishtar muttered, dreading that part of the meal. Now that she had a moment to think about it, she regretted inventing the entire concept, but it was far too late to back out now - not without it coming off as an attempt to avoid meeting her extended family. "Safe travels, Lord Seliph. I'll see you and your comrades tomorrow."

* * *

So far, nothing had collapsed. It had actually been rather touching to see the reunion between Olwen and Nanna, in particular - the blonde had almost shrieked at the sight of her, diving forwards into a hug. Amalda hadn't escaped unharmed either, Leif having shaken her hand until the princess of Nordion dragged her into a hug as well.

Ishtar had watched from the sidelines with bemusement until her mind caught up with her eyes and she sidestepped, casually avoiding suffering from the same fate as Olwen. Tine looked up at her with almost betrayed eyes before Ishtar stepped forward, arms wrapping around her cousin's slender frame with a sigh of relief. 

"I'm glad you're okay." She said quietly. Tine's hands grabbed at Ishtar's dress, fists of cloth in her fingers as she shuddered and tried not to cry. 

"I told them you weren't a bad person. I **_told_** them." She insisted, Ishtar standing stone still as her cousin talked. "Ishtar, I just...I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so happy that you're safe."

"We'll see if that lasts." Ishtar muttered under her breath. Her heart ached from hearing about how much trust Tine had had in her, trust that she had barely known about before. Gods, what if she had never...no, there was no point in thinking too hard about that. She heard a clearing of a throat and looked away from the crown of Tine's head, her false smile growing brittle and an eye twitching. 

"Prince Ced. Your sister told me that I have a great deal to thank you for when it comes to keeping my cousin safe and happy." Ishtar's words were cordial, and the tone surprisingly even despite being uttered through almost clenched teeth, but it still managed to make most of those in the room go still for a moment. Ced's expression was stoic to start, although a brief flicker of intense annoyance crossed it when he realized who he had to blame for this situation. 

"Fee..." He groaned lowly. Ishtar somehow pried her fingers away from Tine's back, forcing her hands to be still as she extended one out to him and stared him dead in the eyes. 

"Thank you for protecting her." She said, as calmly as she could muster. There was a brief moment of silence as Ced reached out, taking the hand and shaking it firmly - barely flinching at the feeling of static running from one person to the other.

"It was nothing." His own voice was as stilted as hers now, but carried a little farther as the wind picked up. Tine glanced between the two of them in panic, eventually stepping forward and laughing nervously. 

"Okay, okay! Uh, introductions, I guess - proper ones." She babbled, desperately. "Ced, this is my Lord Cousin. Ishtar, this is Ced - oh, *please* be nice, please! None of us want a repeat of what happened with Liza..."

"What happened with Liza?" Olwen asked nervously, the Friege knight managing to escape Nanna's clutches and return to her actual position as Ishtar's guard for the evening. Ishtar turned a peculiar shade of pink, eyes darting nervously as she coughed into her hand. 

"Irrelevant. We were all younger, and it would have been far more serious if I actually had access to Mjolnir at the time." She waved a hand, desperately trying to dismiss it. "Besides, my father said he always hated that table. Replacing it was relatively easy, although the shattered window..."

"It doesn't matter because we are all going to behave tonight." Tine said firmly, glaring up at her cousin. Ishtar was taken aback by the determination she showed, never having expected it from the girl. "Do you promise, Ishtar?"

"This dinner was my idea." Ishtar protested weakly. "Why would I ruin it?"

Olwen looked as though she had a few thoughts on the matter herself, but kept her mouth shut. Ishtar glared at the knight for a few long seconds before muttering something indistinct under her breath, shaking her head and turning to stalk back inside. She could stalk quite effectively, even if surrounded by friends. "I am going to go and ensure preparations are going in order. Introduce me to the rest of your companions when they arrive, please, Tine."

* * *

Ishtar was starting to think that Tine's unofficial role at this dinner was to prevent her from lashing out, rather than simply introducing her to everyone. It was strange facing down suspicious eyes and grateful ones alike, from people who just over a month ago she had been making a game out of killing. 

A game, of all things. Damn it all, the more she thought back on the things she was doing with Julius the more she wondered how she had ever let it get so far. The letter she intended to send was burning in her mind, feeling phantoms of the quill twitching between her fingers even as she spoke so pleasantly with people who would want him dead almost to a man. 

"Amalda and Olwen told me a great deal about you both." She smiled carefully at Leif and Nanna, inclining her head a little. "Olwen in particular is glad that you are both alright. As for Ilios, ah, he..."

"Continues to exist?" Nanna hazarded to try and fill the silence that had formed. Grimacing, Ishtar nodded. 

"Yes. He certainly...is." She said lamely. Nanna managed to hide her snicker behind one hand, while Leif took on something of a pained expression. 

"I'm glad he's okay too." He said, desperately. "Amalda said you reinstated her. Can you explain why?"

"She has experience as a field general and only defected because of the Church's actions. Considering my own actions since Friege's, shall we say...splintering...it made her the only real logical choice." Ishtar shrugged. "My choices were lacking, either I could use those who I knew were compromised by the church, or those who were opposed to them - or loyal to me - but without any experience alongside the Gelben Ritter. Amalda presented an option I'd be a fool not to take."

"Do we have to talk politics?" Tine almost begged her cousin, tugging at a sleeve. "Ishtar, please, there's still so many people you haven't met yet."

"Forgive me. Apparently my cousin is intent on making sure I meet everyone she knows." Ishtar said in a faux-exasperated tone, making Nanna chuckle again. She was almost dragged off, leaving the couple to speak with an approaching Amalda as her face soured. "Thank you, Tine. I wasn't sure how much more of that I could bear. The part where they threatened to start finishing each other's sentences was particularly draining."

"I'm sorry. I should have thought you wouldn't want to spend much time around people who were, you know..." Tine trailed off miserably. Ishtar sighed and reached up, stroking the girl's hair playfully for a moment before glancing around. 

"It's fine. Are there any other couples present tonight?" 

"Well, yes. But I don't think you have to worry about Lene and Ares, Ares doesn't really say much to begin with." Tine pointed them out for her cousin as they passed through the castle's courtyard, speaking in low tones. "That's Lester and his sister. Beyond that there's Ced, who, ah..."

"If you turn any more crimson you'll light up my walls." Ishtar said dryly. "So your brother isn't seeing anyone at the moment, then?"

There was a certain leaden tone to the word brother when Ishtar said it, eyes flickering with a complicated emotion. Tine paused in her steps, looking up at her cousin tentatively. "I don't expect you two to get along, you know. I know that Arthur killed Uncle Bloom."

"Thank you for the reminder." Ishtar said bitterly, forcing her hands to remain still. Tine frowned, walking around in front of her sister and standing on the tips of her toes. It still barely brought them eye to eye without needing to tilt their heads, but it at least put them on a more equal footing. 

"Ishtar. I'm not - he's his own person. I'm not trying to replace Ishtore. You shouldn't see him like that either."

"...is he important to you?" Ishtar asked, quietly. Tine nodded firmly, blinking away a few tears but never breaking Ishtar's gaze. The older woman looked away after a few moments, a deep sigh leaving her as she closed her eyes. "Then he's important to me, too. That doesn't mean I have to like him."

"Thank you." Tine said, gratefully. A more hopeful but teasing tone entered her voice as she glanced over towards the half-made table, clearing her throat. "Ah, I don't suppose I could ask you to treat Ced with a little less hostility?"

"At no point have I actively said something meant to insult him." Ishtar chose her words carefully. Tine just pouted.

"No, but the air was crackling with so much loose static that you ruined my hair. It took a while to fix afterwards."

Ishtar couldn't help but chuckle at that, shaking her head in disbelief. "Well, fine. I will attempt to reign in my instincts and have better control of Mjolnir around him, is that sufficient?"

"It'll have to be." Tine sniffed. "So, uh...dinner?"

"Dinner." Ishtar agreed. The tables were set by now, two long rectangles pushed together into a ramshackle square filling up a decent portion of the small castle's courtyard, and the small group of servants that staffed it started to bring out food. Ishtar found herself seated at the head of it, Amalda to her immediate right and to her mild annoyance Olwen to her left. 

Well, she had been hoping that Seliph would be seated beside her - he was to be her future liege. She was almost certain of that, now, even if the idea made her stomach hurt. /Julius/...

"Thank you for coming. I'd like to use this opportunity to get to know each other so that once the war is over we can hopefully build something better." She said, as politely as she could manage in the face of such a harsh reminder of what was coming. Somewhere down the table, Lene jabbed a heel into Ares' foot and hissed something which they could all hear. 

"Be nice!"

"That would be an excellent start to our relations moving forward, yes." Ishtar said mildly. Lene's face lit up red and she groaned, shifting desperately to try and hide behind Ares' bulkier form. "That said, I think a few things need cleared up."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, opening them after a few moments and staring down the table at the gathered in front of her. Discounting Shannan, she saw excellent choices for ruling almost the entire damned continent in front of her. Although perhaps she would have preferred to be dealing with Altena as a future ruler of Thracia than Leif. Tine had pointed them out to her as they entered, and she managed to desperately match faces to names. Ares, Lene, Leif, Nanna, Lester, Iuchar, Febail and an empty seat where Corpul would have been sitting if he had not needed to tend to so many wounded from their previous battles. Ishtar felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of that, although it was at least a little mollified by knowing that she had given supplies to help with that. 

"I was an Empire loyalist, and in many ways I still am. To the ideas that Arvis put forwards, not his son or his church." She tried to power through it, ignoring the sudden stirrings of discomfort that she was seeing in some of them. "I know your families were all wronged by things he had done - but until he was all but usurped, it was /working/. You must all recognize that, at least. But when Julius was older, something..."

Her face darkened. "I have been betrothed to Julius almost my entire life. I assure you, at some point he was a genuinely good person. He would never have done the things that I have personally witnessed over the last two years. I don't _know_ what changed, but-"

She halted, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. This was not the time to try and work through her own emotions on the matter, and she steeled herself. "...it doesn't matter. Clearly the person I used to know has changed somehow, be that because of the Church or something else. I realized that when we both took the field in Miletos, and he without hesitation moved to attack my **sister**."

Ishtar caught her own slip of the tongue too late, but forced her way through it - ignoring the stunned, distant 'oh!' she caught from the other end of the table. "My father once told me that...if someone you loved was to raise their hand against your family, they did not truly love you. He realized that far too late, but I could not repeat that mistake. So, yes, I stood against Julius that day - for my own personal interests and beliefs, not the greater good of the continent. Something that I am sure will be a personal shame of mine for years to come."

She was almost certain she had seen a brief flicker of something cross Arthur's face when she spoke about Bloom and Hilda, even so abstractly. Silently she filed that away in the back of her mind, prepared to make it just another conversation that she would need to have one day. "Be that as it may...I _cannot_ take to the field against him. I know everything he has done - better than some of you, even. To myself and to others."

Ishtar tried, desperately, not to let her hands twitch towards her ears. The small golden crosses that hung there weren't the rubies which reminded her so violently of Julius' worse tendencies as she looked at them now, but it was still a reminder. "If any of you need _anything_ from Friege in this time, I will provide it. And should you need our help in the future with your own territories...I will do my best. But I cannot cross that line. I can't _fight_ him."

As the courtyard fell into silence, Ishtar spread her hands almost helplessly. "I'm sorry. Please...enjoy the meal. Then if you wish me to swear Friege's loyalty to this cause formally after, Lord Seliph, I will. Just don't make me or my forces take the field here and now. It would be too much."

The table lapsed into silence, and Ishtar frowned as she felt one tear trickle down her cheek. Cursing her own momentary weakness she snatched the handkerchief Seliph had given her earlier from the low bag slung around her waist, dabbing at her eyes as quickly as she could while a scowl settled back on her lips. "Well? Are there any questions?"

"You've made your position clear." Ares grumbled. It looked as though everyone else agreed with that much and she nodded, forcing a smile onto her face again as she sat. 

"Good. Then let's try and talk of things other than the war for now, hm...?"

* * *

Ishtar had avoided conversation that night, and she knew it had left something of a bad impression. But she had listened - and generally been left rather impressed by all those that Seliph had gathered around him. The feeling wasn't mutual, as far as she could tell. More than a few had seemed angry and upset that she spoke so positively of Arvis and Julius both, even if she condemned their worse actions soon after. 

More things to keep an eye on. But when they had marched away, and she headed back to the capital of her duchy, she couldn't help but feel optimistic for the future. The letter was sent the next day, smuggled in through a loyalist supply train - hopefully it would reach him. She hoped he would listen...

She heard word of the Empire's defeat before anything else. The word of what had happened in the capital of the country were vague at best, speaking of clashes between holy weapons that left devastation in their wake, great dragons of light and shadow rising up and wrestling each other for control, the apparent death of Lord Seliph as he attempted to strike down the Emperor...that one was false, at least. 

But when she heard there were pegasi approaching, she knew she shouldn't have let her hopes get up. She could only see two, and no sign of long red hair, or even a cloak for it to hide under. Seliph landed and climbed off the back of Fee's pegasus, looking more awful than she could recall - battered and bruised still, eyes red from exhaustion and face pale and white. 

There was no Julius. Seliph looked as though he was trying to say something but Ishtar couldn't hear it over her blood rushing through her head, a hand moving almost on its own to take the thing he was holding out to her. She turned the bloodstained parchment over in gloved fingers a dozen times, staring at the unmarred wax seal on the back in confusion. 

"He didn't even open it...?"

"He had it on his person when he..." Ishtar couldn't hear anything else. The letter dropped from trembling fingers onto the ground, and she let out a choked sob as she fell to her knees beside it. Maybelle was kneeling next to her in an instant, trying to shield her from the view of her people and wrapping arms around her shoulders. 

"I'm sorry." Seliph was kneeling too, hesitantly picking up the letter and offering it to her again. Ishtar stared at it in bewilderment, tears clouding everything but the damned seal on the back. She stared back at her own house's crest, everything else blocked out except for that and his words. "I tried - Julia did, too. We couldn't make him /stop/."

"Liar." Ishtar croaked. Seliph froze and Ishtar raised her head, fingers starting to crackle with lightning. "Who killed him. Was it you? Did you come here to lie to me about it?"

"Julius nearly killed me. Julia stopped him." Seliph said after a long moment, managing to meet her gaze. Ishtar stared into them and saw...nothing. Just exhaustion and loss and grief. He hadn't even known him. 

Not like she had. 

"...leave." She closed her eyes and shuddered, barely managing to hold back a wail. "Leave /now/."

Seliph was gone by the time she opened her eyes. She could hear his footsteps as he mounted Fee's pegasus, the beating of wings as he left - but she couldn't look up from the stone of her castle's walls. Or the bloodstained letter in her hands. 

' _Why would he keep it but not open it...?'_ She glanced to the side, seeing the courtyard filter out as people ran into the streets, spreading what she was sure everyone else in Friege would welcome as **good** news.

Now that she was alone in Maybelle's arms, Ishtar let herself scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not overly happy with how the dinner sequence turned out, but it was an unplanned addition that wasn't in my outline to start with. The main goal of this fic is to just get 4k words out each week now that I'm past the prologue, and this is what ended up coming off my keyboard instead of my plan (going from the conversation with Seliph, into a transcription of the letter, and into the closing scene). I'll probably be posting the letter as a standalone chapter this weekend, it's half-finished anyway.


	5. Bonus: The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The contents of Ishtar's letter to Julius towards the final stages of Endgame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just so you know this chapter contains some pretty graphic mentions of emotional and physical abuse from a victim who is in denial over how bad it really was, even if she's starting to realize some things about it. If you're sensitive to that, feel free to skip over it - none of it is important to the narrative outside of a better look at Ishtar's mental state around this point in time.

_Julius._

_Assuming you have yet to destroy this letter, I just want you to know that I do still love you. I've tried to write this letter almost a dozen times at this point, working my fingers to bleed onto parchment in every spare moment I have - sleep eludes me, and all I can see when I close my eyes is you. But Julius, I don't think I like what I see anymore._

_What drives you to act the way you have? What drives you to listen to Manfroy and his cult of sadists, to lash out against your family - gods above, Julius, do I even know you anymore? Did I ever know you? How many rumors have I heard about and immediately shot down, defended you from even, only to now think that they could be real? Damn it, Julius, what happened to Julia?_

_...no, that's unfair. I still just remember you the days when I met you, when we were both children and you were so quiet and scared - and later, years later, when our betrothal shifted from words on paper to something real as we met again. I promised when we were small that I would help keep you safe and I meant that, Julius, I really did. That's what I'm trying to do now. I'm just trying to keep you safe because I know for a fact that you are better than this - it has to be what this country is doing to you. The church and the pressures of soon to be ruling have to be causing you pain, oh so much pain, and I just want to help you escape it. Again, I'm just trying to protect you. But I don't even know what I am protecting you from._

_Does raising my hand against you like I did on that field make me an oathbreaker? Does it shatter our relationship for good? Julius, you were trying to kill someone that I think of like a sister. I thought...I don't know what I thought. I don't even know what I'm writing in this damn letter and I expect it to be burned as soon as it arrives. But Tine is like my sister, Julius - I could never bring myself to hurt her. Not after I saw what it did to my father when he stood aside and just let my aunt die. He never let it be open in public but behind closed doors it made him ache so deeply, Julius - and my heart was already hurting too much._

_I think that's what this was. Imagine a scale with my love for you on one side and the pain that it is causing me on the other. You outweighed everything for so long, but over the last year it has grown harder and harder to keep it balanced. You ordered me to abandon my best friend and wouldn't let me attend his funeral. You refused to comfort me when my brother and father died, just encouraging me to seek vengeance against the traitors instead. Gods, Julius, the children. Children. Children. Children. They were just children._

_It doesn't have to keep going like this. I can still help you like you tried to help me. Just end all of this, abdicate, abandon the Church - come and live with me, Julius. Let me protect you like I promised to years ago. We can still be happy together. Isn't that more important to you than the continent, or the poisoned words that Manfroy whispers into your ear? Didn't you once say that I was the most important thing in your life, that you could never replace me?_

_Or did you just want my blood? How many times did you shed it and tell me I looked beautiful afterwards? Why was every compliment accompanied by a wound in some way? You would gift me earrings and refuse to let me wait to pierce my ears, driving them through my lobes and soothing me as I cried - but why not let me wait? You would stroke my arms but dig your nails in too deep, gouging my skin until I asked you to stop, and it would take longer and longer each time. We would kiss and you would bite my lip, tearing at it with teeth before saying you got 'carried away'. Do you love me? Did you love me? Was I just a...I don't know. Convenient? Someone with Thrud's blood for you to add to your lineage?_

_I don't mind if that is all you see me as. I still care about you, Julius. Let me help you. I have hands around the throat of the revolutionary army and they know it, the Gelben Ritter is poised at their backs. I have a position of power that they could not dispute. If you surrender, they will let you. You can come to Friege and live safely with me, forever. Away from everything and everyone that could cause you pain. It would just be the two of us, and I would work to keep you comfortable and happy, in any way you wanted. Because I love you._

_But I can't support you if you keep doing this. This is my line, Julius. I can barely see it through the pain and suffering of the last two years but I've found it. Please, you can make it all go away. You just have to let it all go first._

_I'll be waiting for you, in the earrings you gave me, in the dress you always said you liked best. I'm here for you. Just let them win and it will all be over. Let me keep you safe._

_Yours,_   
_Ishtar._


	6. Seeking Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishtar's grief is tempered in part by a reunion. Hilda starts her manipulations anew. Seliph needs to learn how to rule.

"Have you eaten anything?" 

It was strange, having her mother show actual concern for her. Ishtar narrowed her eyes at the raven-haired woman, trying to remember the last time she had said something like that. Fifteen years ago, perhaps...right, when Ishtore had broken his arm. Hilda had shown actual concern that day, she remembered - back before they knew which of them could inherit Mjolnir. Before they found out the only child Hilda considered important. 

"No. But I'm fine." Ishtar said carefully, turning away from her. Hilda didn't take the implied dismissal very well, hovering in the doorway still and glaring. "I've been drinking."

"Oh, as if that is meant to be reassuring."

" _Water_ , mother. With lemon. I'm not being a fool." Ishtar said sharply. "As if I would let my judgement be dulled right now - the transfer of power in the capital is too important."

"You haven't left this office in three days. Maybelle told me that you only ate at breakfast yesterday because you needed to meet with Amalda and it would be impolite not to." Hilda growled, venom seeping into the names of Ishtar's allies. "At least I raised you right in that regard. Now cease this moping - the boy has been dead for a month and he is going to stay dead."

Ishtar's fist slammed down on the table and she shot upright, glaring at her mother. Hilda met her eyes and stared coldly, unmoved by the tears of sorrow or the furious shaking. "Oh, come now. Did I raise a dullard? You know this isn't how you should be acting now. Grow up."

"Have you no sense of compassion? You were a bigger supporter of him and his policies than anyone else here!" Ishtar hurled a paperweight at her, the carved marble bouncing off Hilda's shoulders. To her mother's credit, the woman barely flinched. "Leave me be to grieve, damn you!"

"Nobody else is grieving. Every day that you spend locked up in here doing so weakens your own position." Hilda said bluntly. "You already drove off your most ideal future suitor with that little display and order on the walls. Do you expect to keep any support if you become known as the one who cried over a monster's corpse?"

"The monster you enabled." Ishtar growled. Hilda raised an eyebrow and tilted her head in acknowledgement, a smile playing over her face. 

"Ah, perhaps. But at least you can finally refer to him as a monster without flinching." Hilda said dryly. It made Ishtar recoil again as she realized what she had called Julius, staring over her mother's shoulder as her words hit her like hammers. "I don't _care_ how you see him in private, Ishtar. But if you spend any more time like this you're going to put yourself in danger - politically, yes. But more immediately, physically. Come and eat something."

A satisfied smile playing over her lips, the woman turned on her heels and swept from the room with a single parting comment. "And try to make yourself presentable. The future king of Silesse and his bride to be are coming later today." 

Hilda froze in her steps, staring at the scorch mark that suddenly marred the stone wall in front of her. She turned to look back at her daughter, shock fading from her face slowly as she tried to regain her compassion, and narrowed her eyes slightly. "Oh, please. What was that pitiful display about."

"If you so much as **_speak_** to Tine while she is here I will hand you over to the courts in Miletos to do as they will." Ishtar hissed. Her gloved hand still crackled with lightning, the warning bolt she had fired barely using any of the power she had summoned in her rage. "You will retreat to your chambers in the tower and not come out while she is still present, am I understood?"

"Ah, now you act more like an Empress should." Hilda said, almost fondly. She let another smile play over her lips, cold eyes looking her daughter up and down before she nodded in satisfaction. "Very well, as you instruct. I hardly expect her to respond well to me while I am here...and her paramour might try something reckless. While I doubt he could defeat you, I would prefer the castle to remain standing afterwards."

"Just go, mother." Ishtar growled. As the woman turned around the corner and left, there was a brief moment of quiet before Olwen poked her head in the door and coughed nervously. 

"Ah, do you have a moment?"

"Olwen, I swear, if you are here to try and get me to eat something as well I am going to demote you to village guard and put Ilios in charge of your unit." Ishtar snapped. The black-haired woman flinched a little at the idea, her more confident attitude returning when it became clear that at least Ishtar wasn't in the mood of throwing lightning at anyone else today. 

"You should, but I heard you say you were coming. Or did I not interpret the end of that conversation right?" Olwen challenged. Ishtar groaned, sinking her head into her hands and trying not to lash out again. 

"No. Fine. I'll come and eat." She rose, glancing at Olwen. "What did you want to talk about?"

"It's bad timing. It can wait until after you've dealt with...all of this." Olwen gestured up and down Ishtar's form. The duchess looked at herself in the mirror and grimaced, realizing that her hair was in tatters - having never bothered putting it back in a tail when she woke this morning. The state of her clothes was something as well, never mind the redness around her eyes.

"I need a bath drawn and a makeup kit." She sighed, turning back to Olwen. The woman stood there, raising an eyebrow as she held up a hand. "Oh, what is it?"

"Do you expect me to draw one for you? I thought I was important."

"So is Maybelle and her sisters, yet they still have to do menial tasks when I ask them. Go and draw me the damned bath, Olwen, before I-" She paused, trying to find a threat that she hadn't already used and failing. "-figure something out. Transfer your gentleman friend to the far side of the country or something, I don't know."

"Fred doesn't deserve anything like that, but...very well." Olwen sighed, leaving. Once she was gone, Ishtar studied herself in her mirror again for several long moments, hands moving to the raw earlobes as she frowned. Tearing out the earrings had hurt more than she had expected, and the blood hadn't quite all washed off when she had simply splashed her face that morning. Not for the first time, she cursed whatever emotion had driven her to not simply take them out like she normally did, before sighing and slumping back down in her chair. 

Should she cry, now? She felt like she should cry again, yet her eyes ached and refused. Scream? Her throat was already sore, it was taking a miracle and small pulses of healing magic to keep her voice from turning hoarse. What if she punched at the wall, or tore at her arms with her nails again? 

She studied the long, elbow-length gloves she was wearing and frowned. Putting these back on had been the only thing she could think of to stop that nervous tick growing worse. She could clutch her elbow as much as she wanted to now, without risking her long nails drawing blood from her flesh - just like Julius had used to. How was it that she was even harming herself in ways that reminded her of him?

Why wasn't anything else reminding her about him? Why was every action she fell back on to try and remember the sweet, innocent boy she had been told to wed born of her pain and suffering? Why did it always need her blood? 

"Damn it." She cursed quietly. Tine was coming later today, then - she would need to clean up and have eaten by then. Having to speak with Ced as well was going to be awkward enough, she just hoped that they had had the presence of mind not to bring Tine's brother with her. Or any other uninvited guests - although if there was one solace, at least she knew it couldn't possibly be Seliph. The man would have to be an idiot to leave the capital again so soon after his coronation.

* * *

  
Ishtar stared in open-mouthed disbelief for a few moments as she stared down the entire convoy, gawping at the blue-haired man at its center for a solid five seconds before regaining control of herself. Oh no, no, no **no** , what was he thinking? How stupid could he be?

"Ishtar!"

Tine's voice managed to make the duchess snap out of it, arms extending almost automatically to catch her. She was left reeling a little from the impact but kept her footing, unable to completely stop the smile on her face as she looked down at her. 

"I'm glad you're okay." Tine said warmly. Ishtar nodded, although her smile grew more brittle as she stepped aside and brushed herself down. Tine frowned, looking up at her and almost pouting a little. "...you're not okay, are you."

"Not particularly. But I'm...dealing with it." Ishtar said quietly. She turned back to the approaching convoy, lifting an eyebrow and trying to bury her disbelief and pain as far down as possible. To be honest, she was almost grateful for the Emperor's baffling decision - it meant that she had a true, genuine distraction for the first time in weeks. But that still didn't excuse this. "I was told you were only bringing your betrothed with you. Care to explain?"

Seliph seemed about to say something when a woman tugged on his sleeve, stepping past him and staring at Ishtar. The duchess fell silent for a few moments, staring into the eyes of someone she hadn't seen in almost a decade and seeing the same kind of pain she felt reflected for the first time. 

"Julia." Ishtar breathed quietly. The other woman stepped forward, hugging Ishtar tenderly. 

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry." Julia whispered. Ishtar blinked away tears, hands moving to squeeze the shorter girl's shoulders before nodding gratefully, not trusting her words. "Ishtar, if there's anything we can do to help-"

"It's fine. I'm glad you're alright after all. I had always wondered..." Ishtar trailed off and looked at her again, a frown coming to her face. Those rumors she had always heard about what happened to Empress Deirdre and Julia, were they...she could find out now. Did she really want to know? "Well, it's no matter. Again, why did so many of you come? Surely if this is a state visit it would have made more sense to invite me to the capital."

"That seems impolite." Seliph offered. Ishtar winced, and toned down her expectations of the man's political acumen further. A great military commander and morale symbol, yes, but the courts were damn well going to eat him alive. She supposed it made sense - he was raised in a small abbey by soldiers, wasn't he? Something along those lines. General yes, inspiration yes, skilled ruler, ah...as she glanced at him and replayed those allies of his she had already met over in her head, she found her frown deepening. 

"Oh, _damn_. You have absolutely no idea of you what you're doing, do you." It was blunt enough to make her wince, but the exhaustion and pain of the last few weeks had made it harder for her to hold back her real thoughts. There was a strange strangled, choking noise from Julia, like she had tried to bite back a laugh and failed miserably - while the rest looked various combinations of embarrassed and offended. "I don't mean any offense." 

She corrected hastily, raising her hands. "This isn't the life you were raised for, is it? Even I have difficulty with it sometimes..." She trailed off and stared at them in mild horror, glancing back at her own city and then the Emperor. "Oh, surely not."

"There's a position open at court for an advisor. I was hoping you could-" Seliph began, although Ishtar shook her head vehemently before he could finish. 

"No. **No**. I am not setting foot in _that_ place again so quickly." She insisted. "Find someone else - surely you must know someone who used to rule? I am far, far too busy here, and-"

She forced herself to stop, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. Oh, but this was infuriating, and exactly the kind of thing she needed at the moment. Something to distract her, a problem to try and overcome rather than wallowing in her own despair. It was almost enough to tempt her into accepting the offer at all, but the idea of setting foot in the halls that Julius had died in made her sick in a way that she couldn't really describe. Still, she forced a small smile onto her face as she gave Seliph a long, critical look. "-...perhaps something of a fast overview before you need to return could be arranged. So that you know not to do something like, say, leave the capital a few weeks after your coronation when you should be staying there to present as much stability in a time of upheaval as possible."

To his good credit, Seliph at least colored a little at that. Julia tugged on Ishtar's sleeve, giving the older woman a Look before turning back to the rest and clapping her hands. "Okay, well! Lady Ishtar, I assume that there's a meal ready to receive us, yes?"

"Of course. In the main hall." Ishtar nodded her head, glad to be back on more solid ground. Even if she hadn't had to interact with it since she was a very small child, Julia still seemed to know more of what to do here than anyone else did. "If you'll all follow me."

Her hand found its way to Tine's squeezing it slightly as the two fell into step with each other. It was quite the walk from the courtyard to the castle's interior dining hall, and Tine finally asked a question that Ishtar had been dreading for more pleasant reasons than the others. "Did you mean to call me sister at that dinner?"

"You may as well be." Ishtar said after a moment's silence, tilting her head. "Does that upset you? I can avoid it in the future."

"No, no! I think it's nice." Tine struggled to find something to say, babbling over the start of her next few years. "I mean, well...it's just...I don't know, you know? It feels so weird to be back here. I don't think I like it much." 

"I know what you mean." Ishtar said quietly, looking around at the walls surrounding them. She almost stopped walking before she remembered she was leading the rest, her step picking up after that moment's hesitation. "There aren't many pleasant memories that I can recall here anymore that aren't tainted. But that's going to be the same story all over the world now for so many people. Everyone lost somebody..." 

"A few people lost more than others." Tine mumbled. Ishtar glanced down at her and smiled a little, nodding. 

"Yes. Well, there isn't much that any of us can do about that except try and move on." It felt like a lie to her, something that she said to end the conversation even if she meant it on some level. She knew it was what she should do as well, but if the last few weeks were any indication she couldn't bring herself to do it. "You plan on residing in Silesse with your betrothed, then?"

"Is that okay? I don't want to leave you feeling alone." Tine said softly. Ishtar stumbled to a halt, turning to face her despite the train of people following them and glaring down at her sister a little. 

"Oh, and when did people start caring about how **_I_** was going to feel." Ishtar spat with surprising venom. An awkward silence fell over the hall and she paused, closing her eyes to take a breath and barely collecting herself enough to nod towards the feasting hall's door. "In there if you would. Excuse me."

"Ishtar!" Tine called after her as the woman paced away. It was all Ishtar could do at this point not to break into a sprint, barely keeping her composure enough as she slinked into the nearest stairwell. Like before she found herself retreating to her father's office, slumping at her desk and staring into the empty fireplace and tracing numb fingers over her face. 

"Where had that come from..." She asked herself quietly. She tried to stand up but could barely move, and she had to force herself over to the fire to start it. As she rested heavily against the wall she watched it sputter to life, the flames burning and twisting in front of her eyes until they almost looked like Julius' hair. 

"That was a little rude, you know." Julia said quietly. The girl must have either followed her up after her display in the halls or asked for directions - and if it was the latter Ishtar made a note to have a word with the guards in her head as she turned around, forcing a smile onto her face. 

"Well, Your Imperial Highness, so is dropping by my home with more dignitaries than announced while I am meant to be grieving." She said flatly. The Imperial Princess wilted a bit at that, looking more like the nervous fourteen year old girl Ishtar remembered before her back straightened and she looked her in the eyes. Ishtar groaned, preparing herself for the inevitable rebuke and preparing to strike back at it with one of her own.

"You're right." 

Ishtar blinked. Julia shook her head miserably, moving to stand next to her and staring down into the fire as she looked at her hand. "I'm sorry?"

"You're right. This is too much too fast for you. But the way people are acting, it feels like grieving him isn't acceptable." Julia looked at her, the firelight casting shadows through her silver hair while hands vanished into her sleeves. "I had to kill him in the end, you know. I had to cut down my own brother and act as though it was a good thing. Like my father's death was a step forward for the world when I know he was just trying to help..."

Julia's voice wavered and Ishtar closed her eyes, taking a painful breath in through her nose. "They just see what the Empire and the Church did. They didn't know them like we did, did they?"

"I guess not." Julia said miserably, battering her fist against the stone with surprising force. Ishtar glanced at it concerned for a second as Julia let out a hiss of pain, tugging her wrist close to her chest and pouting. "Ah, damn..."

"Punching walls doesn't seem very imperial." Ishtar chuckled. Julia shot her a slight glare, rolling her eyes. 

"I spent over a year with soldiers. It starts to rub off on you after a while."

"Oh, don't say that. Keep it away from me." Ishtar gagged. There was a brief moment of silence, the two on the verge of laughing before sobering up again and glancing back at the fire. "You can see him in it too, can't you."

"I don't see him. It just reminds me of him - him and father both." Julia shook her head. "Ishtar...if anyone knows what either of us is going through, it's each other. Does that make sense? We're the only ones who know what he used to be like. But that doesn't mean you can just lash people away like that."

"I know." Ishtar closed her eyes. "But it's...hard. And I don't make a habit of apologizing for things that I meant, even if it was in the heat of the moment. All of my memories of the last few years are just of myself trying to make others happy, others safe - and look where it has gotten me. Perhaps I should try being selfish for a change."

"I'm not saying you can't be angry or hurt. But yelling at Tine isn't going to help that. She wants to help you more than anyone else here." Julia paused, frowning. "Well, ah...almost anyone, I suppose."

"Let me guess. You?"

"Ah, no. My lord brother." Julia said sheepishly. Ishtar paused, turning to look at Julia with an incredulous look on her face. 

"Emperor Seliph? We've spoken, what, three times?"

"He's been talking to Tine about you an awful lot recently - me, too, although I can tell him far less." She shrugged. "He thinks that you're hurting. He's lost almost everyone too, but he's at least gotten to have some closure. If anything, he wants you to come back to the capital to try and get some of your own."

"What could wait for me there? Bloodstained halls and suspicious glares from courtiers desperate to appear as if they hated the old regime all along?" Ishtar spat. Julia sighed. 

"Julius' grave, Ishtar. It's unmarked, hidden among those of regular soldiers...but his all the same. I wish we hadn't had to do it in such a fashion, but it was the only way to keep it from being desecrated by others."

Ishtar froze again, eyes wide. She hadn't even considered that as a possibility, the idea of getting to say goodbye - after a fashion, at least. She stared into the fire for a long moment, one hand moving to grasp at her elbow again. "That...might be nice, yes. To air a few last thoughts to him in a fashion."

"It helped me." Julia agreed warmly. She reached out, resting fingers on top of Ishtar's other elbow and lightly pushing her towards the door. "Ishtar...I know we didn't spend much time together before my departure. But we're the only ones left who remember what it was like back then. Can we trust each other?"

"I hardly see any other options." Ishtar sighed, turning to leave the room. "I should return to dinner. I'm being a poor hostess, and a poorer example for your brother. I can't believe that he is becoming ruler over you with such a weak claim."

"No you can't. You know exactly why it's happening. Besides...it isn't so bad. I always hated the capital." Julia smiled slightly as the two left. "Velthomer was always much nicer. My Lord Father wished he could have spent more time with us there, I remember it clearly."

"You'll be ruling Velthomer?" Ishtar asked in surprise. "I would have thought that my cousin..."

"From what I understand, Arthur was offered it and said something along the lines of, ah," Julia scrunched up her face in concentration. "'There are easier ways to run provinces into the ground than giving it to me.' At which point he reminded Lord Seliph that my claim is better anyway, unless we can find out what happened to Uncle Azelle."

"I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. The Church could be very good at disappearing people. Quite a few " Ishtar muttered darkly, before coming to a harsh stop. "Oh, it cannot _possibly_ be that simple..."

"What can't?"

"I just thought of something that could come in useful for granting more of your friends, as you put it, closure." Ishtar mused, her eyes glancing out of one of the hallway's windows towards the eastern tower. "I think my mother might be more willing than you'd expect to share some of the Church's old secrets if it ingratiates her with the new ruling class. At least her nature will help others instead of hindering them for once."


	7. Lessons Learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishtar tries to teach Seliph the importance of how he acts. Julia asks about the importance of family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is shorter than a usual update, some idiot decided to open their car door into the bike lane instead of having their kid walk five minutes in the rain from the parking lot to the train station entrance and I got wiped out as a result. Nothing broken but I took a few days off after that. 
> 
> This week's update will be the last for a while as I go and plan out something even more self indulgent than this for nanowrimo.

Considering the suddenly descending snows, it looked as though Seliph and his party would be staying for longer than expected. Ishtar was hardly pleased about having the court of the Empire moved to Friege for the immediate future, but it had a handful of bright spots. Being able to spend more time with Tine before her eventual departure was one - and the main one that she was learning to enjoy was time with Seliph. 

After all, best that if he is to blunder through his first few months of ruling, it be somewhere she could correct and filter him herself. Hopefully she could then unleash him onto the continent without supervision having learned at least something from his time with her, although even with putting aside time to actively teach him it was proving hard. He was just far too damned kind-hearted, and she wondered more and more if her aggressive jab from before the final battles was actually the truth. 

Firelight flickered through the study - Ishtar was finally starting to think of it as hers, rather than her father's - as she picked up the letter he had written to the capital and read it over. She glanced at it, paused, and looked back up at him before casually tearing it in half and tossing them aside. 

"Not saying the right things, then?" Seliph asked, a slight smile on his face. Ishtar chuckled despite herself and leaned back in her chair, bobbing her head slightly before snapping her fingers. 

"It's not what you're saying, it's how you say it."

"You mean...in terms of my accent and tone? I was hardly aware that could carry over in a letter."

"Oh, no. No, the damage for that is already done. Besides, it's part of your cultural image at this point. Getting rid of it will do more harm than good." Ishtar waved a hand away. Seliph frowned at her a little, stung slightly at how she boiled down his accent. "Look...everyone knows you were raised in Isaach, Lord Seliph. Getting rid of that tone in your voice too fast could make it look as though you were, ah...flighty."

"So, what? If it's not in my accent then what's the problem?" Seliph asked, a slight hint of frustration in his voice. Ishtar sighed and leaned forward, staring into his eyes. 

"Do you know why I keep calling you _Lord_ Seliph despite your insistence to the contrary?"

"Because you like getting a rise out of me?" Seliph offered. Ishtar pinked for a second, before clearing her throat and moving on. 

"Hardly. It's because despite your peculiar insistence on being so grounded and open with everybody, you need to understand that you are, in fact, the Emperor now." Ishtar said levelly. "Lord Seliph...you have to work on your word choice and how you present yourself. It might not be how you feel about things, but there are certain facets of your personality that you will need to hide in order to rule effectively."

"I don't want to have to change who I am." Seliph said desperately. Ishtar's flat stare offered nothing in the way of sympathy, even as she raised an eyebrow. 

"Nobody is asking or telling you to. Just present yourself in a different way - or ally yourself with somebody who can effectively appear far more dangerous and ruthless than you." When Seliph perked up, Ishtar shook her head. "No, Ares and Shannan would not be acceptable. They are sovereigns of entirely separate countries, remember? That would just make you appear weak and subservient to the court."

Seliph's look was almost pleading, even if he was clearly joking. He was struggling to keep a grin off his face as he stared at her, eyes wide. "C-could you do that for me? You seem quite good at being terrifying so far."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or not." Ishtar said after a few seconds. Her own lips were twitching now, and she had to cover her mouth with one hand and cough. "But, no. I'm not going to move to the capital just to glare at people for you."

"I suppose that's fair." Seliph relented. Ishtar let her hand drop, lips twitching into a small smile now that she was at least capable of being more dignified about it, and Seliph grinned in return. "So...word choice, then? Am I going to need to carry a thesaurus around with me?"

"Hardly. You just need to practice. Pick your words more carefully - more refinement is needed." Ishtar struggled with how to put it into words, frowning a little. "Say...even when speaking about your friends, you should use their title if they have one. Not while in private, of course, but when speaking to the court about them. Impress on them at all times that you are, in fact, the Emperor."

She lowered her hand and pressed her palms against the table, rising and staring at him with a critical eye. "Different upbringings, Lord Seliph. But at least you have some inkling of what it means to have power. If you had power and felt no pressure from having it...I would be far more concerned."

"Should I be concerned about you, then?" Seliph asked. Ishtar froze, one hand still on the table as the other reached for a book. "You feel the pressure with the power of the nation, yes. But you say that using Mjolnir felt freeing."

"I don't think that is any of your business, your highness." Ishtar said sharply. She could feel her fingers twitching and forced herself to calm, closing her eyes and breathing deeply as she stood up. "And for the record, another thing you should work on a little appears to be your sense of tact. You can't simply assume that everyone will want to spill their personal secrets to you after a few months of acquaintance."

"I didn't mean to overstep." Seliph stood as well now and Ishtar's eyes shifted to his face, narrowing slightly. The study suddenly felt far too cramped to her, and her breathing was catching a little more in her throat. He studied her face for a few moments, before taking a pace away from the table. "I can leave if it'll make you more comfortable."

Ishtar almost asked him to, before taking a few more breaths and closing her eyes again. She didn't sit however, walking away from the desk and glancing out her window. She could see her cousin and her betrothed out there on the walls, protected from the winds by...well. Now that was just showing off, surely. She snorted, turning away from the sight and glaring at him. 

"Stay. We still need to rewrite that letter." She said, as calmly as she could. Seliph sat with a small shrug, his eyes still fixed on her face before his lips twitched into a small smile. 

"I'm sorry. Did you snort a few seconds ago?"

"Tell anyone that I made such a noise and I will leave your entire personal chambers in the capital a burning husk." Ishtar vowed. Seliph's smile turned into a full grin as he forced back laughter, barely managing to choke out a few words. 

"I was right. You _are_ terrifying."

"You best mean that as a compliment this time." Ishtar shook her head, bemused, before sitting across from him at the table again. She reached out and took the quill away from him, the paper too, and raised an eyebrow. "Best cut out the middleman here, hm? We can say you dictated it to me should anyone suspect anything. Now...tell me what you want to say, and I will put it in a manner that is actually suitable for an Emperor."

* * *

"Have you spoken with your mother about it yet?" Julia asked absently. Ishtar frowned, looking up from her writing at her teatime companion and ultimately deciding to just shrug. 

"As of yet, no. I think it better to put off such a conversation until we could all act on such information...and, to be frank, when the risk of someone letting their emotions run high and attempting to kill her upon hearing any such information is too high." Ishtar sighed. "She's a hideous woman, I know. But I have so little family left, I can't face making it even smaller. Despite all of it, she's still my mother."

"I understand. Besides, she's hardly a danger locked up the way she is, I suppose." Julia trailed off and stared into her teacup, her own finished long ago while Ishtar's had turned almost to ice on her desk. "Can we make another pot?"

"You can, if you want. I think it's clear that I'm not going to have any more." Ishtar sighed. The younger woman nodded and stood, heading to busy herself by the fireplace. "Julia...don't you wish you could have saved some of your family, too? Even if the rest of the world hated them?"

"My father, you mean?" They both knew the other's feelings on Julius at this point. They had barely spoken of him since the first day together, leaving him as a ghost in the back of their minds, whispered references and inferred memories flickering between them when they dared. He might not be able to hurt either of them anymore, but the memories and what they meant to others could. "I do. But even setting aside Lord Seliph's own feelings on the matter...no, I don't think he could have been allowed to live. He was a good man."

"He was. A better leader than most of the others I've known or seen in my time." Ishtar agreed. Her own steadfast defense of Arvis was going to set her apart from the rest of the court, she could tell - either those who were Seliph's comrades in the army, or simply those who had survived the war intact and now toadied for position. But she wasn't going to let mere convenience force her to go against her beliefs. She could take a little more isolation. "My mother is less dangerous. Oh, she is a viper, certainly - but with no more power or allies and no holy weapon of her own to speak of, she is one I can keep contained safely."

Absently, Ishtar sipped on her cold tea, making a face at the bitter taste. "Agh, that was foolish. Do you know she thinks I intend on seducing Seliph so that I can become Empress despite what happened? As if this is some great game-"

Julia made a choking sound and nearly dropped the teapot. Ishtar's eyes flickered over to her and the silver-haired girl was going through several interesting shades of pink and red, a look of bewilderment and something else that she couldn't quite place flickering across her eyes. "Good gods, Julia, are you alright? The woman is deluded, there's absolutely nothing to it. If anything your Lord Brother barely factored into my decision at all."

"Oh. Good. Because he'd hate that." Julia managed to say after a few seconds, although there was that strange hint in her voice that Ishtar had barely heard before. Liza was the only person who had ever dared to get sarcastic in her presence, and she wasn't completely sure this was the same thing. "Do I need to start chaperoning your lessons?"

"Oh for heaven's sake. Nothing is going on between us. I have no interest in such a relationship and he has been a perfect gentleman." Ishtar snapped. Julia still looked as though she'd been struck in the head by something heavy and hard as she sat down again, looking everywhere in the room except at Ishtar's face. 

"Right. Is the kettle ready yet?" 

"You only put the water on a few seconds ago, Julia."

"Ah, right. Of course." Julia coughed into her hand and smiled at her friend weakly. "Anyway, moving onto other subjects...have you spent much time with your cousin and her betrothed recently? Ced seems to be getting anxious to leave and head to Silesse early. I don't think he can quite hold back the blizzards we've been getting, but he insists otherwise..."


	8. Whirlwind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tine and Julia see something, and try to open Ishtar and Seliph's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's quality is lacking but eventually you just have to put something out so you can move on, you know?

"We can't stay here for much longer. Ced needs to return to Silesse soon, if nothing else." Tine said miserably as she prodded at her meal. She'd taken breakfast in the hall again, hoping that her cousin would be present to hear her concerns over the upcoming week. They'd already spent near a month in Friege, and while it did her heart good to be so near her entire family group she couldn't bear to stay in these halls anymore. 

"Well, the rest of us can't either. It can only be so long until Seliph gets dragged back to the capital to rule properly as well." Lana agreed. The cleric hadn't spoken much in their time in this castle, Tine remembered - and she paused, trying to figure out why. Perhaps it was just that she wasn't speaking to her...or something else entirely, perhaps. She stared suspiciously at Julia for a second, the Emperor's sister sitting at the girl's side and flushing slightly at the look. 

"Yes. We've relied on Ishtar's kindness a little too long, and I think it's been a strain on all of us." She tried to divert Tine's attention, waving a hand lightly. "Everyone else is so nervous around her, outside of the two of us and Lord Brother himself. Even you, Lana."

"I had to treat several people from lightning wounds due to attacks from her, and on top of that Fee's description of her mental state isn't exactly filling me with confidence." Lana sipped at her tea carefully, fingers straying over a sandwich briefly before deciding the better of it. Tine couldn't remember the last time she had seen her eat meat, now that she thought of it. Her cousin leaned somewhat towards that, although not as stringently as Lana seemed to. She was fairly certain it was just a preference of tastes in Ishtar's case, where the healer seemed to be making some kind of ethical decision. 

"There's some cucumber left." Julia moved the plate towards the blonde, cutting off Tine's inevitably defensive next comment with a slight glare. "Yes, well. She's been through a lot, Lana, we all have. Seliph in particular - and all these extra responsibilities have been mounting on his head, even before we came here. She seems to at least be teaching him properly."

"Seliph does seem to enjoy their lessons together." Tine said slowly. Lana's head snapped up from the sandwich she was carefully cutting the crust off of, eyes wide in horror as her own mind came to the same conclusion as the other two were slowly working towards. "Ishtar as well. She doesn't speak much of the rest of our group, even though I know she's been speaking with Nanna quite a few times recently."

"I don't think Nanna's given her much of a choice in that matter." Julia shrugged. When the Nordion princess decided she wished to speak to someone, it was hard to convince them otherwise - she was fairly certain the only thing that had stopped her was her finally being able to head back to the Thracian peninsula now the snows had stopped. "But you're right. Although I'm not sure it's romantic in any way - she seemed very opposed to the idea of how people would see them being connected."

"That's more a visual perception thing, though. Ishtar has always been very sensitive to that." Tine's thoughts were gathering more momentum, even as Lana desperately tried to think of a way to stop this. "I have another few days. Your party isn't leaving for a week, correct? Why don't we see if we can't make them open up to each other a little more, just in case?"

"Oh no." Lana moaned quietly, sinking her head into her hands briefly before deciding to distract herself with another sandwich. Julia ignored her deliberately, chuckling as she found herself agreeing with Tine even more than expected. 

"Well, my Lord Brother already has something of a puppy crush on her. Mostly physical, I'm sure, not that I can blame him. I mean, look at her. I would be jealous if I wasn't so attracted."

Lana choked on a mouthful of bread and cucumber, staring at the silver-haired girl in mild shock. Julia glanced at her through the sides of her eyes, raising an eyebrow in amusement. "I'm spoken for, not blind, Lana. Do try and deny it. The woman is like someone told a sculptor to combine elegance with the purest ideal of the word 'curves', I have no idea how she even fits into most of her dresses-"

"Stop talking about my cousin like that." Tine cut in, face flushing as she tried to force things back on track. "Are you certain that it's just a physical attraction? They have been speaking a lot-"

"Ishtar trying to teach Seliph not to ride the continent into the ground through mismanagement." Lana corrected under her breath. Tine glared at her, not having caught quite all of it but jabbing a finger at her anyway. 

"A Lot of time! They can't possibly just be talking about - look, this isn't going to fix anything." Tine threw her arms into the air in exasperation. "How about we just try and be blunt about this? Forgive me, but Lord Seliph doesn't strike me as a particularly subtle person!"

Lana and Julia couldn't bring themselves to dispute this. Tine nodded firmly, standing upright. "Okay, so, it's settled. I'll talk to Seliph about it, and Julia can talk to Ishta-"

"No. You talk to Ishtar, I'll speak with Seliph." Julia said firmly. Tine's face fell as she realized she'd have to try and convince her cousin of this through her own efforts more than anything else. "I don't know Ishtar that well anymore, Tine. You've known her longer, it's only fair."

"You just don't want to risk getting hit by lightning." Lana grumbled. Julia gave her a sweet smile, rising from the table and folding her napkin neatly after dabbing at her lips. 

"Come now, Lana. You'd fix me afterwards, I know that."

"I would be tempted not to."

* * *

"Do you think Ishtar is attractive?"

Seliph's complete lack of diplomatic training made itself obvious in a lot of ways. The one that Julia was finding the most convenient, never mind entertaining, was that whenever you said something pointed and direct you could always tell what his reaction was before he even said anything. In this case, the sudden flinch he gave as if her words had slapped him in the face showed his shock, and then his cheeks suddenly flaring red gave her an answer. 

"Good. I'm glad." Julia said happily before Seliph could answer. Her half-brother fixed her with an irritated glare, although there was no real heat in it. "She'd be glad to hear of something like that as well. Her confidence has taken something of a hit recently, after all. You should try complimenting her later on in the day."

"Our relationship doesn't really allow for that kind of exchange." Seliph said cautiously, testing the waters as he regained his composure. Julia would give Ishtar something, while she hadn't been able to restrain him from his immediate responses he was regaining lost ground remarkably quickly. It wasn't the most useful thing in the world if a single sentence could give away that much, but still. "Personally, I feel that Ishtar would appreciate feeling valued for things other than her looks. She's had more than enough of being treated as something superficial in her life."

"I quite agree. Still, it's always nice to hear people say nice things about you. If you don't want to talk about her looks, maybe find some other things to praise if you want to gauge if she returns your interest." Julia studied his face carefully now, and if she hadn't been she would have missed the brief flickering of his eyes entirely. Oh, she took it back. Ishtar was good if he could school his reactions that much now - she must have simply caught him off guard at the start of the conversation. 

"Interest in her?" Seliph led her on. Julia snorted a little, shaking her head as they paused in their walk. The glasshouses that they were moving through made her sweat a little, although it at least gave them some shelter from the unrelenting cold of the season. She couldn't imagine heading to Silesse as Tine would be soon, if its winters were even harsher than this. She was grateful that she would be spending most of her time either in the Capital or Velthomer itself moving forwards, and she met his eyes carefully. 

"Seliph, we could have left weeks ago if you wanted to. Her lessons are valuable, yes, but I know that the missives from the capital are getting more restless." She let his own embarrassed glance aside prove that point for her, and charged on. "She does enjoy company I think, although mostly because it offers a distraction from her own thoughts. But you seem to enjoy hers a peculiar amount. Can I ask what it is if it isn't simply interest?"

"She's hurting." Seliph said after a long moment, and Julia's eyes softened. "Leaving her here alone to try and heal by herself doesn't strike me as the right thing to do. Her cousin is leaving soon, and we all heard her refer to Tine as a sister on occasion. How many friends does she have here, truly?"

"She seems close with one of her pegasus knights. Maybelle, I think her name was. She has a growing attachment to two of Leif's old companions too." She said cautiously. "Olwen and Amalda, correct? Perhaps it is best we leave her in their hands, then. They've known her better than us by now, and if I may be blunt?"

"You have this frustrating tendency to be blunt when you know you're right." Seliph sighed, but he didn't stop her. Julia tried not to be too insulted by that, raising an eyebrow for a brief second before barreling on anyway. 

"Seliph, she's a grown woman with her own companions. I'm sure she enjoys your company - after all, she has yet to chase you away from any of your lessons together. It would just save yourself a lot of unnecessary stress if you were at least open with your intentions about each other."

"Julius still haunts her." Seliph replied carefully. Julia winced at the reminder, but refused to let it stop her entirely. 

"Julius will always haunt her, Seliph. He'll haunt her as much as he haunts me, and I was the one who had to strike him down at the end. We both have good memories of him, despite everything that he would later become." Julia's voice subsided, growing distant as she forced herself to recall the war and times before both. "Or was hiding, perhaps. I don't know. But if there's one thing that Ishtar is going to value from now on, it's going to be being honest about your intentions and acted openly towards her. The only thing you have to fear is a rejection."

"Oh, is that all?" Seliph rolled his eyes. Julia chuckled, deciding to take a kinder approach as she touched his arm and pulled him alongside her. They started walking again, the woman tilting her head slightly and pursing her lips. 

"Why are you interested in her, Seliph? Beyond her beauty, I mean. That's quite clear to see for everyone who simply looks at her, and I hardly blame you for it. But you've never struck me as one obsessed with it."

"I'm not. I notice it, of course, but the idea of just having beauty for beauty's sake is...difficult for me to understand." Seliph frowned, trying to parse the words before sighing. "She's direct, forceful even. She has a wit and way with words that strikes when you least expect it, and when I hear her speak of something she cares about I can hardly believe the emotion she puts into it. Reserved is so far from the last word that I could use to talk about her...despite hiding her self so deeply, it feels like she has stronger emotions than anyone else I've ever known."

He paused, feeling Julia's stumble and raising an eyebrow. "Did I say something wrong?"

His sister tightened her grip on his arm and shook her head mutely, deciding to raise her own mental assessment from 'interested' to 'hopelessly besotted'. "Strong emotions, then? Even if she tries to hide them?"

"When she cares deeply about something, it's as if it's the only thing in the world that matters to her." He said, voice a little distant now as he looked for the words. "At the expense of herself, even. I want to...I want to help her care about herself as much as she cares about Tine. To love herself with the same intensity that she hates and grieves. That's the best way to describe her, I think - intense."

"Intense." Julia said slowly, tasting the word on her tongue. It suited Ishtar, she could agree with that. "Yes, I can understand that. So you want to help her, is that it?"

"No! Well, not quite." Seliph protested, brow furrowing. "I just want her to...understand how to help herself. I see that intensity and that potential for kindness and how it's turned in on herself and it makes me want to weep, Julia."

"A lot of things make you want to cry, Seliph. You can't take the responsibility for fixing everyone." Julia said, more harsh than she had expected herself to. Seliph glanced at her in concern, and his sister held up her hands as she let out a long breath. "I'm sorry. But, Seliph - what do you actually want here? If it's just for her to get better, fantastic. I'm glad that you'll be helping to look out for her - but you have a nation to rule as well. What do you think you could get from her in kind?"

"She's better at this than I am." He said eventually, pointing back out the greenhouse windows. "I'm learning so much from her, Julia - things that Lewyn and Oifey never thought to teach me. How to run estates, how to judge someone's true intentions from what they say. It's more than just her experience, however. When she's near me I feel as if I can be sterner, more collected in my decisions. It's - perhaps I just don't want to disappoint her, but she helps me focus."

"Oh, lord." Julia groaned, rubbing a hand over her face. "Why oh why couldn't you have just said that you were enchanted by her physical beauty or something else that Iuchar would have spouted? I had so many speeches lined up to help you with that."

"You did ask me what I felt beyond that." Seliph pointed out mildly. Julia rolled her eyes and let out a long sigh, hand shifting from her face to rub at her temples. She could only hope that Tine was having a simpler conversation than her at the current moment, although she wasn't holding out hope. 

"Please don't take that as an invitation to start waxing on about it." 

* * *

"Do you think Seliph is attractive?"

Ishtar stared at her cousin over the rim of her teacup, hand suddenly frozen. She carefully set the china down, sliding the saucer further along the desk as she kept her face carefully calm. "Thank you for remembering to ask me that before I had actually drunk anything, Tine."

The shorter girl flushed a dark pink, fidgeting at the hem of her dress. Ishtar glanced at it, wondering at the choice of it - not the blacks and silvers that she had grown so fond of over the years, this one was closer to the clothes she'd worn as a child. The heavy ruby clasp at her bodice tied the pink together in a way that should have been more jarring to the eyes than it was, and she frowned. "Ishtar, please. I never mean to embarrass you on purpose, you know that."

"Quite. That tended to be Liza's job, as if she was testing to see how far she could push the rest of us before we tried to convince Ishtore to dump her." Ishtar rolled her eyes, trying to tug the conversation onto safer grounds. The dress her cousin was wearing must have made her feel nostalgic, to focus on something like that. "Please don't say you intend to start doing the same to try and honor her or something. I'm not sure I could take being irritated in such a fashion all day again."

"It's nothing like that!" Tine refused to let the subject change, steering things back with an iron grip that Ishtar viewed as almost suspicious. "So, what do you think? Is he attractive?"

"I was under the impression that you were engaged to another, Tine. Cease window shopping or I may have to talk to Ced about this." Ishtar said pointedly. Tine shook her head in determination, tapping her hands against the table twice while staring at her. 

"It's nothing like that, I swear. Can't you just answer my question, please?"

"Tine, if this is some attempt to set me up with him, I don't appreciate it." She said cautiously, staring at her cousin through narrowed eyes. She expected her cousin to back down at that, but instead the girl seemed to just take a deep breath and fix herself even more firmly in her seat. 

"Why not? Are you that opposed to the idea?"

"No! Well-" Oh, damn. If she ever found out which of Seliph's companions were responsible for her cousin managing to grow such a solid spine, she would rain havoc on them. Not to mention whoever managed to teach her to read people this well - although she suspected that Tine might have always been capable of that. "Tine, enough. No matter who the person in question is, I am not looking for a new partner at this time for a myriad of reasons. Do you want me to start listing them off?"

"Yes."

Ishtar stared at her for a second, convinced that she would see at least some indication that the woman was joking, but finding nothing there. She took a moment to collect herself, seeing that the conversation was absolutely not going to move along until she at least humored her cousin's words, and held up three fingers. 

"One - I am grieving, Tine. I know that it can be hard for others to accept what I had with Julius in light of his other...actions, but we were still together for a great deal of time. Can you respect that at least?"

Tine nodded, and Ishtar curled down one of her fingers. "Second, I am hardly an exciting political match anymore, and don't look at me like that politics will enter into the question of who I attach myself to. I have an entire duchy to look after now, Tine, my relationship choices reflect on that - if I choose poorly, or if a relationship falls apart, it could do even more damage to my already crumbling reputation. Need I remind you of some of the letters I receive?"

"Letters?" Tine said, dubiously. Ishtar kicked herself mentally, eyes flickering guiltily to the missives she had received from various other politicians across the continent. There were some from her father's remaining spies as well, and she felt no moral qualms about continuing their employment - it was damned useful to know what was really happening in distance places, without being buried in the words of a proud ruler. 

"My reputation has been in harsh descent since the war ended, remember. From the only one brave enough to stand against the Empire in full strength to an opportunistic, cowardly and spiteful wench. I believe some of the common folk in some places have begun referring to me as the Devil's Whore, and I'm certain that the richer say it quietly behind closed doors."

Tine's hands smacked down onto the table and her cousin was on her feet suddenly, quivering. Ishtar blinked, realizing suddenly that she was seeing something she hadn't seen in years. Tine was **angry**. 

"Don't call yourself that. Even if it's just what other people say about you." She said firmly, shoulders trembling with emotion. Ishtar tilted her head slightly as she looked into Tine's eyes, a frown crossing her lips for a brief second before she sighed and took down her second finger. 

"If it upsets you so, fine. I won't mention it in the future." She said quietly. Tine nodded gratefully, lowering herself back down into her seat with a visible effort of control, and Ishtar had a feeling that certain topics would become very strictly regulated in Silesse come her wedding. "The third, well..."

This was something that Ishtar didn't want to say considering how violently Tine had reacted to the idea of others speaking poorly about her, and she tried to disarm it with a bitter smile as she tucked away her last finger. "I hardly think I'm deserving of something like that at the moment. I have things to redeem myself for before I can think of anything like that."

"Redeem yourself for what?!" Tine's outburst was almost exactly what she had expected, standing again and sending a cup rattling across the floor. Ishtar glanced at it meaningfully, raising an eyebrow at her cousin and actually blinking in surprise when the slighter woman didn't even flinch. "Ishtar, you - you have nothing to redeem yourself for! Even if you did, you would have already done it tenfold! For Naga's sake, you weren't even on his side at the end!"

Ah, and there it was. Ishtar's eyes narrowed slightly and she growled a little, resisting the urge to snap back and failing miserably. "Your paramour seems to have been an influence on you, Tine. You never would have spoken to me like this before."

"It's not just him! Ishtar, you-" Tine seemed on the verge of storming out, tears in her eyes as she leaned forwards. "This kind of self hatred, it isn't you. None of this is you! I would know because I've been trying to be like you my entire life, and this is just - it's like you don't want to be yourself anymore!"

"I have plenty of things to redeem myself for and plenty of reasons not to be the person I was already." Ishtar said sharply, and Tine flinched back as if she'd been slapped. "Tine, just - this conversation is pointless. Let's forget it."

"No. No, Ishtar, you don't get to dictate when a conversation ends anymore-"

"This is my damned province, Tine, if I want a conversation to end I can-"

"-because running away and hiding from things and hating yourself is what I used to do!"

Ishtar paused, not hearing her cousin's next few words as she stared at her in stupefied silence. Tine seemed to notice that words were falling on deaf ears, crossing the table and resting her hands on top of the older woman's nervously. "Ishtar...can't you say something?"

"It's so strange that we've changed places." Ishtar stood abruptly, glancing out the window. "I think...I can trust Amalda with Friege for a while. I think the two of us need to talk far more than I originally thought."

Tine seemed caught off guard by the change in topic, until comprehension dawned. "So that means...?"

"Yes, yes. I'll come to your damned wedding no matter how little I want to be around your future husband." Ishtar rolled her eyes, trying to play the decision off with as little care as possible. "On two conditions."

"Yes?"

"You don't address me about any of my so called concerns while we are away...and for the sake of the gods, stop insisting that there's something between the Emperor and myself."

Tine's gaze was even more skeptical than it had been before. "I mean. I'll try."

* * *

"My cousin seems to think we're on the verge of some whirlwind romance." Ishtar rolled her eyes, arms tucked inside her coat as she regarded Seliph out the corner of her eyes. "I think she expects us to fall into each others' arms weeping at this moment or something."

Seliph turned a light pink, coughing into his hand before he regained his own composure. "Julia seems to think much of the same. She pressured me about why I was spending so much time with you, among other things. I think she's quite protective of you in her own way now, you know. I had to enforce the idea that my intentions were pure."

Ishtar's lips twitched into a slight smile, eyes wandering away from him and towards the convoy heading for Silesse. She knew she should be staying with her duchy, but after the conversation she'd had the previous day suddenly the idea of missing Tine's wedding hurt more than expected. "Such a shame. I trust that you told her we spent so much time together because you drastically needed my help, yes?"

"I still need your help. But go and attend Tine's wedding - I should head back to the capital before too long anyway." Seliph chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. The two lapsed into a silence for a long moment before he cleared his throat, voice still shaking nervously even as he tried to channel all of her lessons on maintaining a diplomatic tone. "Whirlwind romance...would that be so bad?"

Ishtar froze, unable to say anything for a long moment before letting out a breath and shaking her head. "No, I don't think it would be." 

The smile she gave him as she walked away to join her cousin was less tight than normal, a slight gleam in her nervous eyes. "Let me think about it. I'll answer when we next see each other."

"I look forward to it."

**Author's Note:**

> my rarepair hell is increasingly specific and shows no signs of stopping, send help.


End file.
